If life were lived backwards..

You’d start out dead and get it out of the way. Then, wake up in a nursery home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. Then you go to high school. You drink alcohol, you party, until you’re young enough for elementary. You become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby, and then you spend the last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, spa-like conditions; central heating, room service on tap, and then, you finish off life as an orgasm.

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