Dear Officer Asshole,

i know you thought you had caught me, seeing as you were pretty cocky when asking me if i had anything illegal in the car. you see, while i was under the influence of marijuana, i thought it would be a great idea to put all my pot and my pipe in my glovebox and lock it, because i am aware of the law, and you cannot properly search my vehicle as well as you’d like if you have to have a warrant to open my glovebox…i felt a little embarrassed for you, because i noticed you trying to tug and pull on the latch for fifteen minutes. and it takes a big man to not even ask why it was locked or if i could unlock it. lol. you make me laugh. and fyi, i had to load a bowl as soon as i pulled away, because you startled the shit out of me…

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