Today, after getting high, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it.
Thought my neighbors would know I was high if I walked my dog in my pajamas. I put on a tux, I don't think they noticed a thing.
Had to pull over because I was convinced I was about to drive straight into one of those scenes painted onto a brick wall from Looney Toons.