When you pass out drunk, you may drown in your own vomit.
When you pass out high, you just sleep well and have really interesting dreams.
When you drive drunk, you hit pedestrians.
When you drive high, you hit the brakes for leaves blowing across the road.
When you talk to people when you’re drunk, you say something offensive.
When you talk to people when you’re high, you say something brilliant.
When you go swimming drunk, you drown.
When you go swimming high, you’re freakin’ Michael Phelps.
When you drink too much, they have to clean out your liver.
When you smoke too much, you just have to clean out your ash tray.
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