so i wake up this morning and i turn on some sublime and pack a nice bong when my little sister comes in the room. shes 14 and when i was that age i was getting high already so i decide to sit her down and talk to her. first shes all defensive, busts out the DARE program shit, and i said look, look, you here that guy? his name was Brad Nowell, you know what he died from, heroin overdose. at which point i switched to nirvana, and said hear that guy? Kurt Cobain, you know what he died from,... read more »

 

My friends and I were smoking and really high. Our eyes were all bloodshot too. We went to walmart to get eyedrops. There we were, the three of us in line at 11:30 at night to get a $2 bottle of maximum strength redness relief eyedrops.

I didn't make eye contact with the cashier.

 

they all believe god is all knowing. they all believe god created everything. they all believe in the free will of humans.

IF GOD KNOWS AND CREATED THE FUTURE, HOW IS IT FREE WILL!?!?!?!

 

i used to think all stoners carried around a little tavel sized bag with a dub, and a mini lighter, and their bowl with any other mini smoking items..but nope. seems like i'm the only one.

 

How could you not love two legends of basketball: James and Wade. This next joint is for you two.
YES. WE. DID.

 

The blunt or your best friend that just had sex with your mother

 

I had a dream last night. You were in it. I was working from home on an important project, and a deadline breathing down on me. You came into my office and started pulling down on my sleeve. I couldn’t hear what you were saying at first, because I was lost in my work. But then your faint voice started creepng into my head. “Daddy” you said, over and over, “Lets go play”. I distinctly remember saying “not right now, son”, but I could have just thought it and not said anything out loud.

 

to this day, i still don't know what they really really wanted.