Somebody needs to invent a sandwich machine. Just insert your bread, cheese, condiments and such into the appropriate slots. Press a button and, bam, some sandwiches. With a perfect layer of mustard, mayonnaise, etc. spread on.
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infomercials
infomercials are like hookers.... you want to get it so badly but there is something in the back of your head saying its a peice of worn out cheap shit.