bad timing

i was sitting at the table with my family, enjoying a nice dinner then all of a sudden i burp up smoke. my parents just looked at me. i just continued eating.

25 ways to say ‘i’m high’

This has probably been done before but I decided to have fun with it :) 1. I'm high 2. I'm stoned 3. I'm baked 4. What? 5. I'm blitzed 6. Duuude. 7. I'm chopped 8. I'm pretty...up there 9. Fuckin’ awesome 10. Feels good. 11. Not low 12. In the clouds 13. Fucked uuup 14. I'm ripped 15. I'm faded 16. I'm intoxicated 17. I'm buzzed 18. I'm gone 19. I'm tanked 20. Fuckin' bombed 21. I'm blasted 22. I'm toasted 23. I'm fried 24. 25. I'm twisted Sorry if a few of these were more 'local' by the way. How do you guys say 'high'?

Awesome Mom

I just woke up from a long ass nap and it was 10 p.m. instead of looking i assumed my mom was home and in bed. So i broke out my stash and smoked some. Then next thing i new my garage door was opening and my mom and brother came in. My mom comes in and says what smells like shit. I was like im not sure i just took a dump that might be it. Then she goes in my room and says were you smoking pot?" So i told her yea and then she put in the movie "The Doors" great movie. Then she went to bed."

dog for sale

I wish someone would buy me as their dog. How bad could it really be? Lay around, get fed and let outside, get your tummy rubbed, play with some colorful toys, and if you have a stoner as your owner they will blow weed in your face. Sounds like the life to me.