dear journal,

Swam around my plant again today, or maybe I should say, swam around my FAKE plant today. So far I've been in this bowl for a total of thirty three days I believe that I have explored it thoroughly now. After having taken a careful stock of all the items, consisting of a fake plant, some gravel colored gray, dark gray, and light gray, and a plastic crazy bones toy, I realized that there may be a chance the plant is fake. I pondered this possibility for a few days, and did my best to ignore it. I continued to eat the food pellets that were given to me and swim around in what is essential water saturated with my own feces and try to keep my mind off of the damn plant. Try as I might to avoid its gaze, it's a small tank out there I was bound to run into Plant a little more often than I intended. On my thirty second lap around the tank without acknowledging his presence, I finally broke down and confessed. I told Plant through an elaborate interpretive swim that I had suspected for a brief moment that he might indeed be a fake plant, not real and photosynthesizing as he should. Plant, however, remained silent. Disturbed, as I viewed Plant as the only other possible life form in the whole wide tank, I did another, more frenzied, interpretive swim to illustrate that, although I knew he might in fact be mad at me, that I did not care and wanted to proceed with our friendship as before. Plant, once more, did not respond. I was thoroughly frustrated and swam below one of his leaves and sulked there for a while. I didn't know why Plant wasn't answering me and I didn't want to think about it. After all, if Plant weren't alive, then it would be just me and that orange Crazy Bones toy. I've an idea that that toy might be a bit, well, strange. Anyhow Diary, this is my first log. This is Thomas Jefferson reporting from what I now refer to as the United Bowl of America. I'm really Thomas Jefferson and I'm really reincarnated as a fish.

Thomas Jefferson


Thu, 10/08/2009 - 6:06am
Sunshine Says:

this is suprisingly brillent.. I'm shocked, and I hope theres more

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 9:22pm
herexkitty Says:
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 9:53pm
cooks Says:
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 9:53pm
cooks Says:
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 10:10pm
BillaBONG Says:
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 10:14pm
kronkid420 Says:

woooo thats fuckin crazy intense! keep those diarys comin lol

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 10:30pm
MegMegMeg Says:
Thu, 10/08/2009 - 10:33pm
KCheezy Says:

hahahaha. you sir are very very stoned. you had me laughing my ass off at the first thomas jefferson post.

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 11:19pm
orangekush Says:

that made me laugh my ass of and im not even high... yet.

more please

Thu, 10/08/2009 - 11:49pm
sweetjane Says:

I hope I'll be reading more of these?

Fri, 10/09/2009 - 12:11am
merbear Says:

omg this was soo funny, i hope that they're more to come.

Fri, 10/09/2009 - 12:29am
Fri, 10/09/2009 - 12:30am

Wow this was amazing. That was actually quite witty. I want more. Nice metaphor possibly for God.

Fri, 10/09/2009 - 12:33am

i want my 2 minutes of life you fucked out of me

Fri, 10/09/2009 - 5:18am
Fri, 10/09/2009 - 1:54pm
Fri, 10/09/2009 - 3:34pm

not terribly written but other than that retarded

Fri, 10/09/2009 - 6:37pm

brilliant!! i wish my friends were this funny!

Sun, 10/11/2009 - 12:26am
sauce Says:

i love this fucking website so much when i'm stoned

Mon, 10/12/2009 - 11:30am
Chooch420 Says:
Mon, 10/12/2009 - 12:30pm
CadeAlan Says:
Mon, 10/12/2009 - 1:19pm
inhale_exhale (not verified) Says:

y stared at a plant for 33 days?!??!??!????????????????!!!!!!!!!!?!??!??!?!?!?!??! dear lord wut r u a fuckin jeenie!!!!!*high life*

Mon, 10/12/2009 - 4:46pm

thomas jefferson the fish needs a powdered wig. and other Constitutional Framer friends.

Tue, 10/13/2009 - 1:38am
wilderzax Says:

I feel for this fish. Confused and exploring this tiny world. One question: how does a fish keep a diary. I mean does he hold the pen with one fin or both of them. And doesn't the paper get soggy. I want to know more about this in your next installement.
Waiting, patiently.
Your eternal fish fan.
Fish are funny.

Tue, 10/13/2009 - 3:59pm
Tue, 10/13/2009 - 5:34pm
sharkkitty Says:

i am so happy that something like this exists. :D

Sun, 10/25/2009 - 8:32pm
Sat, 10/16/2010 - 10:12am
bzidd420 Says: