So when I smoke by myself, I get kind of bored/wierd and start talking to inanimate objects. Most of the time its just gibberish and for fun, but sometimes I learn something.
I went to the beach to wake and bake this morning and saw this really awesome looking rock so I decided to converse with it:
me: Hey there Mr. Rock!
Rock: Please, call me hardy. Mr. Rock is my father.
me: oh shit! I didnt know rocks had fathers!
rock: Well hes not my father exactly. Hes the mountain I came off of.
me: Man, thats tough. I remember when I moved out of my parents house.
rock: yea, well my move out process took a couple thousand years. Talk about awkward.
Me: dude, totally. Do you miss him?
Rock: Yea kind of. I have seperation anxiety. HAAAhaaa, get it? Cuz im a rock, and I came off of him 😀
me: aww yeeeeee, thats clever hardy! so what have you done since than dude?
rock: man, just chillin. Floating through life with the currents. Been to a couple beaches around the world. Got eaten by a few dozen sharks cuz they thought I was a fish. Being shark poop aint fun. I met Christopher Columbus once. He skipped me across the water. Cool guy. Miss that dude.
me: that sounds pretty awesome hardy! but man, I gotta ask you, doesnt it get kinda annoying that you move through life so slow. I mean, it probably takes you a few years to move a foot!
rock: you know what man, it is tough. But the way I look at it, I can either be pissed off and annoyed at how slow life moves, or I can just chill and take it all in. Getting mad doesnt help anyone dude. You just have to learn to accept it, and once you accept it, you can start enjoying it.
me: wise words, Hardy, wise words. Hey dude, I gotta bounce… do you wanna come chill with me and live in my room?
rock: your not going to put me in a stupid fish tank, are you?
me: naw man, I wouldnt do that to you! you can chill on my shelf.
rock: you got Fifa?
me: aw yeeee
rock: AW YEEEE
me: YEEEEE. lets go!