Wed, 04/25/2012 - 4:11pm
munchee Says:

I would ask my dog why is he always licking his balls and how do they taste? If his argument is convincing enough I might ask him to let me try'em.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 11:42pm
Volstice Says:
Fri, 04/27/2012 - 10:41am

I would be like "Whats up" and he'd be like "not much, chillin. How bout you" and I'd be like "not much, chillin" and he'd be like "me too" and I'd be like "yep"

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 7:03pm

Id have to ask her, what the fuck goes on in your head all day? All dogs do is lounge it and shit, all day, for their whole lives.

Thu, 04/26/2012 - 6:00pm
Fri, 04/27/2012 - 5:30am

I would guess that these men do not have intercourse with their canine companions. A dogs cornhole is very rough.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 7:09pm
nurplette Says:
Wed, 04/25/2012 - 8:27pm
Chz_Burglr Says:

Well, all I have is my dogs. We'd prolly talk about bitches ha.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 8:46pm

I'd wanna know if my dog ever jacks off, and if he does, how so?

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 9:36pm
BakedPayne Says:

id probably ask him if he would like me to hotbox him in a room with me... thatd be dope.

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 10:10pm
Wed, 04/25/2012 - 11:03pm
dubmonstaa Says:

I'd probably sit there and have a long intelligent conversation with him about the life of a dog. Haven't you ever wondered what your pet's life is through it's eyes?

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 11:07pm

I would simply ask, "Which one of us is psychotic?"

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 11:20pm
sanchez75 Says:

i would ask if he likes living with me....then let him hit my blunt (:

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 11:31pm

I'd probs sort out some form of two way communication to teach him, that we could continue to use after the 5 mins was over. I'm deffo gonna figure this out right now so that if it ever happens i'm ready.

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 9:01am
Wed, 04/25/2012 - 11:41pm

i'd ask him if he's actually getting high when i blow smoke in his face

Wed, 05/02/2012 - 10:20pm
CaliVelvet Says:

Same here. And if he doesn't feel the high... We'll just hop in the car and hotbox 'til he does :)

Wed, 04/25/2012 - 11:55pm

I'd ask my kitty if he likes cat food
and if he likes me getting him high as much as i think he does.
then we'd smoke a bowl, and talk about life

Thu, 04/26/2012 - 12:01am

I would ask my cat what shes thinking when she watches me shit.

Thu, 04/26/2012 - 12:03am

i would tell him "yeah its cool and all you somehow get out the door to piss or whatever you dogs do, but shut the fucking door when you come back, the house is like a freezer when i wake up. I dont have furr."

Thu, 04/26/2012 - 1:15am

wait your pets dont already talk? shit....

Thu, 04/26/2012 - 1:44am

Make him swear to never tell anyone about all of the random times he has strolled in casualy while I was masturbating then go on to tell him how akward that is and not to do it anymore or ill tell everyone about that dirty whore of a labordoodle that he fucked down the street and how he got fleas from her

Thu, 04/26/2012 - 2:18am
Thu, 04/26/2012 - 2:29am
imasloth Says:

I would ask my cat if she liked me as her owner and if she is happy here. I'd also ask if she wants me to stop blowing smoke in her face(highly doubt that though).

Thu, 04/26/2012 - 2:24am

if he smells my weed when i come home freshly baked

Thu, 04/26/2012 - 9:51am

If I still had my lizard, I would've set up a communication system where he answered questions or told me things with body movements once the five minutes were up. Then we'd take over the world together.

Thu, 04/26/2012 - 10:18am

i would definitely ask my dog like what he actually enjoys doing, and if he really loves me as much as i love him. if he doesn't like going for walks or runs, fuckin tell me, i can stop that. and i'd definitely ask him what he actually wants to eat, because i feel like dog food tastes like ass.

Thu, 04/26/2012 - 11:49am


Thu, 04/26/2012 - 1:12pm

i would ask my dog if it gets high when i hotbox my room lol.

Thu, 04/26/2012 - 1:30pm
purplefaze Says:

i would laugh and walk away cuz im almost that fucked up when im high.

Thu, 04/26/2012 - 2:54pm
bambino404 Says:

id tell him to forgive be for cutting of his nuts.... he was an asshole when he had them and he used to hump everything..

Thu, 04/26/2012 - 3:34pm

I would ask my cat not to spy on me while I masturbate

Thu, 04/26/2012 - 6:39pm
Proteus-G Says:

Well, i got 3 dogs. the first one, i'd tell her how much i love her and apologize for being such a dick to her when i was little. The second one, i'd tell him that i love him too, but he needs to grow a pair and stop being so timid. And the third one, i'd tell him to stop being a fuckin shithead and to stop pissin all over the house.

Thu, 04/26/2012 - 6:43pm

God you people are faggots, all you wanna know is how your dog's balls taste and if it wants to get high with you. I thought stoners were supposed to be the creative type...

Thu, 04/26/2012 - 8:03pm
Nuncotics Says:

it would be really weird for me, i'd probably just apologize to my cat for all the times i cuddled him against his will

Thu, 04/26/2012 - 10:42pm
Utcough Says:
Fri, 04/27/2012 - 2:49am
Bowar Says:

I would tell my black lab mix Torrie and my long haired chihuahua Rambo how much I love them and ask them how I can make them happier.

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 2:54am
oopsforgot Says:

my ferret would convince me to let her out of the cage "but maaaaa i promise i wont bite you this time" i pick her up, pet her a little, everythings cool. i set her down and she runs straight for my toes chasing me around the house singing "im gonna getcha, ooohhh im gonna getcha!"

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 2:58am

i got a kitty.. always chill as fuck, damned cat..but hes cool.. :) if he could he'd probably pass me a blunt hahaha..damn..I'd ask him if he wants to have a smoking sesshhhh, & wanna go out for some food later..& cuddle.. haha

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 3:20am
Loujokush Says:


Fri, 04/27/2012 - 4:41am

I would make a sign language so we could have basic conversations forever.

Fri, 04/27/2012 - 6:43pm

I'd ask my Sheba, my dog, if she wanted to get blazed, and proceed to ask her about how she perceives everything.

Sat, 04/28/2012 - 2:03am

my dog died but he was a fuckin pimp he fucked every bitch in my neighborhood i would ask him to intoduce me to their owners

Sat, 04/28/2012 - 2:09am
Kaitie. Says:

I would ask my cat why he doesnt eat the tails of chipmunks but eats squirrel tails. What a weirdo.

Sat, 04/28/2012 - 1:43pm
ratsnake22 Says:

i would ask wat does it feel like when i forcefully hump u

Tue, 05/01/2012 - 4:47am

id have to ask my little kitty how much it really does like to get high, if at all, and if it dare says it doesnt like it ima have to get rid of exceptions

Mon, 05/14/2012 - 2:39pm
kelso024 Says:
Mon, 06/25/2012 - 10:22pm
mls_mvp Says:

I would have a conversation with my animals about how they can smoke my weed but only if they are smart about it and throw me a couple of bucks once in a while. That would probably take up about the first two minutes. Then the last three minutes would be me teaching them how to properly rip my bong and how to alert me that they want to smoke when our five minutes of communication runs out.

Sat, 11/02/2013 - 3:39pm

I'd want to know what I could do to be a better owner.