Moocher Cats
My cat doesn't understand the concept of 'I'm out of weed'. She won't stop meowing at my bowl.
Zombie Apocalypse Plan
Wear a suit of armor! Zombies are stupid, they'll just think you're a robot!
Two Crows Pecking At A Dead Squirrel
Thats kinda like if you and me were walking down the street, saw a dead dog, looked at each other and thought, hey this would be pretty rad to take turns slamming our faces on this corpse.
Trees VS Bottle
Two nights ago I drank liquor with many attractive females. The night ended with me alone on my knees vomiting profusely. I smoked a two blunts with 3 girls last night. The night ended with me losing my virginity, and getting plenty of practice. Thank you, marijuana, and fuck you, liquor.