Dear….
Dear Remote,
I have seemed to misplace you. I've looked for over 7 minutes away which is 6 minutes past my goal of finding you. I'm going to smoke a bowl. You better be there when I come back.
Sincerely,
a very concerned stoner
Packing up and Going
Fuck it, I'm getting my bowl, shades, and seasons of Family Guy and moving to Hogwarts.