Author: getthedom

We wouldn't get our presents until like the 28th or 29th.

At age 4, success is....not peeing in your pants At age 12, success is....having friends At age 16, success is....having a drivers license At age 20, success is....having sex At age 25, success is....having money At age 50, success is....having money At age 60, success is....having sex At age 70, success is....having a drivers license At age 75, success is....having friends At age 80, success is....not peeing in your pants

Why do we care about their lives? Have you ever thought about it?

The greatest thing about laptops is the ability to be online and take a crap at the same time

Whenever I buy condoms, I like to buy something totally random also, like a Better Homes & Gardens Magazine, a jar of peanut butter, a toilet bowl brush, etc.

1. A dog riding a tricycle 2. The Pope playing poker with God and Jesus - they are laughing and smoking cigars 3. A giant old rotary phone talking on a cell phone 4. A gorilla in tighty-whiteys in the middle of the night in a kitchen drinking milk straight from the carton 5. President Barack Obama dressed up like a little kid with overalls and a hat with a spinny fan on the top eating a giant lollipop giving a press conference 6. A race car sleeping on top of a bed shaped like a child 7. Abe Lincoln doing a keg stand while Ben Franklin and George Washington hold him up 8. The letter X wearing a trench coat walking into an adult theater 9. A depressed turtle at home smoking a cigarette sitting on a dirty sofa chair

1. A Jellyfish with long blond hair 2. An obese person trying to ice skate 3. A DVD Copy of Alien having sex with a DVD Copy of Predator 4. The Last Supper with Chuck Norris in Jesus' place and The Harlem Globetrotters as the 12 Apostles 5. A marshmallow being marsh mellow 6. Crazy Frog (From the Ringtone) and the Geico gecko boxing each other in a tiny ring with little boxing gloves. 7. A raccoon wearing a wifebeater sitting on a dirty sofa in a messy apartment drinking a beer and watching TV with a dangling cigarette in his mouth

If guys got pregnant I bet you we could shave it down to 6 months

Does this still exist, or has this gone the way of the buffalo?