Dear Ladies:
You all should appreciate weed. When your man has the munchies, he's 3x as likely to eat you out ;)
Restaurant
I was at a restaurant yesterday when suddenly i really needed to fart. The music was really loud, so I timed my wind eructions with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me....
...and then suddenly I remembered I was listening to my iPod..