Aren't There Jobs Where You Can Just Be In Think Tanks, Where You Can Come Up With Ideas for Corporations And Shit, I Swear I Could Make All Of These Corporations Richer...What's the Name Of This Job? Do I Need A Degree? I Know These Jobs Exist Someone Fuckin Tell Me


I Don't Get It This Is America...Why Doesn't Every Bathroom Have A Bidet, Toilet Paper Is Merely Useless, Baby Wipes Are For Pussies, And With All The Anal These Days You Gotta Think We'd All Have Mandatory Bidets By Now...Put Toilet Paper Out Of Business, Fuck Them, Less Germs Spreading Too If You Think About It, The Future Of Toilets Will Be Less Shitty With Built In Bidets In Every Toilet


I Was Playing At First But There's Literally People Who Believe The Earth Is Flat...And Will Back It Up With Invalid Sources...Congratulations Humanity


You know your high when you get done blazing at a buddies house n you gotta drive home n you go through scenarios in your head thinking bout what your gonna say to the cop if he asks if you high lol such a stressful situation


Breathing manually?

Blinking manually?

Now uncross your legs.

You're welcome.


I Say It Was Obviously An Outside Job Because We All Know You Can't Build Towers Inside


what do you call sports people? stars? all stars? sports actors? play stars? star gamers? award winners? gamers? players?


It would be cool if we were masked musicians and instead of ever revealing our true identifies we stay anonymous because when we drop a new song or album or something we commit a small but very public spectacle, like burning down the empty building of a taxidermy shop. And then when someone else is being tried for the crime, confessing by song on a rooftop, still masked. Then escape and drop our album.


Hey I'd like to start a gofundme to pay Lebron James and Serina Williams to fornicate to the fullest so we can dominate the 2036 - 2052 Summer Olympics, probably Winter Olympics too because they all will be champions. I know it's a ~20 year investment, but now is the perfect time to plant the seeds ya nah.


If you have a lot of kids you could put their birthday on different color paint chips color samples and cut them into cute shapes as a cute decoration.