when your stoned and you drop somethin, like the lighter or your phone, it always bounces way farther than you think it could, thus taking way longer to find. i feel like that happens to me a lot, you?

perfect when you wake up in the middle of the night and don't wanna turn the light on so you can go back to sleep.
But it can't be a weird green color in the light its gotta be white because otherwise it looks unsanitary.

A machine that both washes your clothes as well as drys them in ONE cycle. This solves the old stoner problem of forgetting to move the clothes to the dryer in time so your clothes dont smell like the great depression after sitting all night. Why does this not exist already???

they really need to get rid of those animal cruelty ads on TV. Everytime im all stoney baloney and i just wanna sit down and enjoy some TV, an animal cruelty infomercial comes on with that same depressing song in the background and it just blows my high. I wanna be happy and laughing when im blown, not all depressed

the cap of a snapple bottle just told me that 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12345678987654321. holy shit.