is it just me?
is it just me or when u get really baked doesnt it seem like animals can totally tell ur baked and act completely different around u?
When I'm really ripped
My favorite thing to do is talk to animals, see how their day's going, what they did earlier, how their meal was, If their happy and most animals aren't happy cus I've talked to over 100 pets, Fish are the hardest to understand but usually they break out of there shell and stop being shy, the weirdest animal I've talked to is a horse, cus their so fucking huge and scary, I feel a lot of pain in horses' eyes, I'm gonna smoke this blunt for all the sad animals in the world
What if animals laughed when you tickled them?
I would never leave my house. Like, how profoundly fulfilling would that be, to make your dog laugh like a goon?
So i was talking talking to a fucking dolphin
"Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons." Said the dolphin.
Hippominimus
So I was thinking... if I could keep any single animal as a pet, it'd definitely be a hippopotamus. Then I realized they're massive and they can be mean mother f'ers. I think I may dedicate my free time to the study of genetics and attempt to make a hippominimus. Imagine a 30lb, fully grown hippominimus that lives in your bathtub and loves grapes. Even if it got angry, no sweat. It's tiny and has short legs. Not much of a threat.
Best High Joke
so i was really blown yesterday when i got a text from my buddy. He asked "how many animals can you fit in a pair of panty hose?" I quickly replied "i dont know how many?" "2 calves, an ass, a beaver, a shitload of hares, one camel toe, and a fish that nobody can find.".....AWESOME!!...laughed till i cried.
We're related to every animal on earth
I mean even jellyfish are distant cousins. That is just fantastic.
Dog cheating
I always feel like I'm cheating on my dog whenever I go somewhere and another dog is all up in my dougie then I come home and my old dog is just sniffin me with this sad ass look I feel like I just cheated on her with another dog....I'm sorry Molly it's not what it smells like...
The higher the cooler?
I was stopped at a red light and i saw a tree with birds on it. the birds were scattered from high to low on the tree and it made me think.... Are the birds higher up in the tree cooler then the birds lower? Kinda like the cooler kids sit at the back of the bus. And if thats the case, I want to start calling those birds "NIRDS". Let me know if you agree
If you think about it....
Humans are the goofiest, lankiest, and most defenseless animal of them all. If it weren't for our brains, and creating tools, we'd be extinct in like ten years.
Try to picture a human being fighting off an animal in the wild...
Ever think about that?
