Its not delivery, its purple haze
So nothing was open at 2am except the pizza pizza in the next city which i KNEW was out of their range, i called anyways....For some reason the guy delivered the pizza anyways, he gets to my house and says "Wanna burn one?" So he smokes ME a joint, gives me an XL pizza and 25 wings for 12 bucks!!! This man went out of his way to save me money and get me baked. I love you pizza man.
Free Donuts
For every night of the last 6 months, I have been going to a gas station near my house that puts out free donuts for police officers. We have timed it so a bunch of high kids go take all the donuts before the cops can get any. There is a great selection of jelly-filled, blueberry, banana, muffins, and cookies. Best thing ever.
Being sneaky
Don't you hate it when you go down stairs to get food when your high and try to be sneaky so you don't wake your parents but you end up makeing a lot more noise than normal.
Pooping is fucking wierd
You ever sit and think about the process of eating and pooping? Like what the fuck, we take living things, munch them into little pieces and swallow em, take all their energy, and then shit them out as a brown, stinky disgusting mass. I almost feel guilty, like I mean I just turned part of a moo moo cow into nasty brown log just cuz I was hungry. I'm sorry moo moo cow, I hope you can still moo in heaven.
America
Its disgusting, full of commercialism, cocky, and god i fucking LOVE it. i mean, heres the deal. why does every american hate living in america. Thats such a kick in the pants to little ethiopian skeletor kids who would give anything (if they had it) to trade places with you.
instead of bitching about how you have an excess of everything, just kick back and enjoy it, fonzie. you caught a break.
besides, u think you'd be blazing up every day if you were born in zimbabwe?
p.s. sorry i called you fonzie it was totally uncalled for and i didn't mean it
milk's favourite cookie...
yo you know how oreo's catchphrase is "milk's favourite cookie"? well have you ever thought how do the other cookies feel about this? i think milk's favourtism towards oreos is offensive to other cookies.
big ass slices of bacon...
... that would cover a whole slice of bread. You could throw like 2 of 'em on some toast and make a BLT... or a bacon egg and cheese. or just eat them plain. the possibilities are endless
pocket full of steak.
i think that whenever you have weed on you you take a pocket full of steak so if a drug dog comes and sniffs your pocket you can just show him theres steak in there
Peanut Butter Slices
So I had this idea of peanut butter slices, kind of like cheese slices, just peanut butter.
peel off two sides, slap it in some bread with some banana.
instant peanut butter banana sandwich.
handy bacon cooker.
has anybody ever realized that you could cook a piece of bacon using a hair straightener? i mean how fucking sick is that
Nothing is sadder than...
nothing is more sad than a sad little stoned girl who just took the time to cook mac n cheese...and accidently spill it....i just sat down and almost cried....
man...
NOTICE TO ALL STONERS:
the unnecessary painsteakfully long peel it takes to eat an orange, its totally worth it in the long run..
Oreo Cream
I want just the Oreo cream to put on sandwiches and stuff. A tub of it like peanut butter. That would be radtatstic.
Watts? What the fuck!
trying to microwave food should not be this fucking tough. i have no damn clue if my microwave is 900 watts, or 1200 watts. if it changes the cook time then why don't they label the fucking microwave.
NEVER EAT TWIZZLERS
you chew so much it makes your mouth tired but once you break down and start tasting them they're amazing so never mind go ahead and eat them. totally worth it
A highdea that is overlooked
The microwave. the guy who invented that was deffinitly high when he thought of it. he was probly waiting for his food to come out of the oven but it was taking too long.
blazing In your kitchen
Making food + a packed bowl.. At the same time = huge mess but amazing food
especially the food
