I Always Feel Like Oprah
Whenever I get on this site. Giving out free upvotes to everyone. "You get an upvote! And you get an upvote! Everybody gets free upvotes! Look under your chairs. It's a free upvote!"
Pot Boobies
Tonight I picked up a sac and hid it in my bra. When I was changing for bed I realized I had forgotten it there. Now my tits smell like dank weed. Yay! Pot Boobies!
If we all went to Hogwarts...
We would totally be in the house HUFFlePUFF. With a name like that? Gotta be the stoner house. And on top of it Pomona Sprout, Professor of Herbology, is the Head of Hufflepuff House. I bet she grows some dank magical weed. JK Rowling, you sneaky woman, you thought no one would notice.
You do drugs = you die
People always tell me that because I do drugs I'm gonna die, well statistics show that 100% of people that don't do drugs die.
THOUGHTS
Did u ever notice that u cant chang the volume of ur thoughts? like ur inner monolog?
and if u try to scream in ur head, its not like LOUD its just a yelling sound, but the volume is the same
~Duran -_-
Stoner Radio
it would be dope if there was a radio station where a few dudes just talked while they were high as fuck. the station would play some good, chill music and the dudes would have awesome conversations between songs. id listen religiously
mom n pop shops are the best.
i was going to this small handmade clothes shop, and as i walked up to the door i noticed a little post-it on the door saying " shop will be closed from 4:15 till 4:25." so i walked behind the store and they where sparkin up a blunt.
WIN.
speed of light
If you were traveling in a car at the speed of light what would happen if you turned the headlights on
Sarcastica
There should be a sarcastic font for text messaging. That way everyone can tell if you're being sarcastic or not. Patent Pending.
To All Rappers
Dear Rappers,
You like, maybe love, weed. We (your listners)LOVE weed. Cops do not love weed, nay, they hate it. Why? ......I..I just dont know, man. This being said, why in the F**K would you put police sirens fading in at the end of songs that you KNOW we will listen to while smoking. Franticly we have to pause the song, possibly even skip it, to see if the siren is real or not. This doesn't make dollars or cents/sense. It makes pot-heads paranoid...that's it. Other than this keep up the fine work. That is all.
I am myself
Sometimes when I'm really blazed I imagine that I am actually just my brain and my body is a giant vehicle that I drive around in.
Fucked up but totally worth it
I think we should take a new born, and keep him in an environment with no color (just white) until he's like 10 then introduce him to colors. It would blow his fuckin mind.
Its not delivery, its purple haze
So nothing was open at 2am except the pizza pizza in the next city which i KNEW was out of their range, i called anyways....For some reason the guy delivered the pizza anyways, he gets to my house and says "Wanna burn one?" So he smokes ME a joint, gives me an XL pizza and 25 wings for 12 bucks!!! This man went out of his way to save me money and get me baked. I love you pizza man.
documentation
ok so over the weekend my girlfriend made me quit smoking, but my roommates are total stoners. so since we've been dating for 5 years and i havent been smoking for nearly as long i didn't smoke with my roommates this week. but since i still wanted to have fun in their company i decided to document everything they did until someone went to sleep. so i started documenting at 2:24am and didn't finnish until 4:33am with nonstop writing, something is written down for almost every minute.... read more »
look in your crotch!!!
i swear during every smoke sesh in a car or sitting down, i always lose my lighter or my weed.
AND ITS ALWAYS IN MY CROTCH
just check your crotch, its probably there.
blunts 101
so i am a girl stoner who has smoked out of anything and everything. however, when it comes to joints and blunts, i always have my guy friends to roll them up. so i decided it was finally time for me to learn the real technique of rolling. so i called up my friend who is a very good roller and asked for a lesson. he told me that blunts 101 class with begin at 4:20 sharp and to bring a sack and a swisher. i watched as he showed me the technique and i helped him at times. tomorrow i have blunts 102 which is the lab. i have to roll it all on my own. and the final exam is to smoke it :)
Sex is like weed, and anal is like heroin...
Sex and weed are really awesome. Anal and heroin probably feel better, but they're both too dirty and risky for me to try.
To All You Older Smokers.
you cant tell me im too young to smoke. there's no age limit on dying, so why should there be an age limit on living?
Dear Neighbors
Just because I'm always blatantly getting high at my window doesn't mean you have to stop hiring me to babysit your kids. Come on, I need your money to buy weed
Nature, you da bomb
High off your ass, standing on a cliff edge in the forest and not seeing a single man made object is the most uplifting feeling ever.
Does The Queen Of England Give Head
I was just wondering if back in the day she gave head? I mean does she get down on her knees and sucks a guys dick? I mean shes the fucking queen.
Pre-heat the oven!
I'm always smoking a quick bowl or two before I smoke a few blunts.
Mentally prepare yourself for getting blazed as fuck.
I always say:
You gotta pre-heat the oven before you bake.
It makes sense... get high before you get high.
Disney is hilarious
Imagine if somebody actually had 101 Dalmatians. You'd have so much shit to clean up.
Brain Printer
Does anyone else wish they had a brain printer? So instead of having to explain something from your head you could just print it, because I mean come on, nothing ever looks as good once it leaves your head. Am I right?
