I think anyone who can hijack a plane with tweezers deserves the plane
My step mom asked me if I was "on the pot"
I laughed.
For 17 minutes..
If life just got a little bit harder, it probably means you just leveled up!
Right before I die I'm going to say "I left a million dollars In the....."
I was waiting at a bar for friends, and a hippie next to me was smoking a weed-hash spliff. I asked him if I could buy off him.
He smiled and said, "I am not your business man, I am your brother." He shared the rest of the joint with me.
Since everyone is doing this planking shit I'm starting my own trend called danking. It where you take picture blazing at an awesome location (the top of Mt. Rushmore, front of a police station, King Tut's tomb, etc.) The more awesome the better. Let the games begin!
if I stare at my dog long enough while she is eating maybe she will offer ME some of her food. Turn the tables for once.
"Shaggy, Scooby, Velma, go down and check the basement. Daphne and I'll go upstairs to check the bedrooms."
works for my computer.
the colors red,white and blue represent freedom until they're flashing behind you.
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