We need a section in the DMV for stoned driving tests where they administer a certain amount of thc to the tester and then they proceed to take a driving test. If passed, you get a little pot leaf sticker on your license that proves you can drive high as fuck. You can now hot box while driving and get pulled over with no problems.

I remember the first time I was buying weed. I was a scared little freshman. Sweaty palms. fidgeting all over the place. The guy I was buying from was a chiil senior. He showed me a small bag and told me the price was $200. I only had $150 on me. I was so disappointed, I told him i'd have enough the next week. I was talking my ass off. He laughed and told me that it was an ounce of parsley, and that he could clearly tell I was new at this. He then took me to his blue mustang, and he rolled... read more »

My mom: "Your eyes are red!"
Me: "My eyes are brown...?"

As soon as weed is legal, I'm gonna open up a place called The Pizza Joint. You get a joint with every pizza. And we'll have a specialty pizza called the joint pizza that's cooked rolled up instead of flat. And at the end of the description of every item on the menu it will say "To put it BLUNTLY, this one is BAKED to perfection."