I could tell my friend was more high than usual
when he mixed 4 different types of cereal and called it "I can't wait to see what this milk will taste like"
An Apple A Day
So everybody knows an apple a day keeps the doctor away. And everyone knows smoking a bowl a day keeps the doc away too. So my question is if I smoke a bowl out of an apple and eat it, that pretty much makes me immortal, right?
Dear: Bacon ...
Dear Bacon,
First of all I love you, I want to make that clear.
I must tell you that when your cooking I'm thinking of you inside me. It's hot.
I'm sorry you caught me cheating on you with a sausage...it was a one time thing, I'll never do it again, you know that!
Please forgive me bacon...remember all the good times we had? You me and eggs sitting around shootin the shit, talking about how much of a loser toast was...ahhhh...just think of all the memories.
Bacon, I want you back...don't leave me...Your sizzle is my breakfast in the morning.
Roxy.
Weed should come with a warning....
Weed should come with a warning.....WARNING: do not smoke around girlscout cookies.
whoa!! brain damage
i just walked to my kitchen to get the food i cooked, turns out i already ate it
Valentine's Day highDEA
so i just met a suuuper hott girl who's way cute and funny and i hooked her up with a dub last night after hittin her vape. so for valentine's day im going to get a box of chocolates, eat one or two :), and put little nuggs of some sticky dank i have in their place. then wrap it up and give it to her! there's no effing way this could end badly.. :)
BEST SNOW DAY OF MY LIFE!
so today my mom was supposed to go to a pto meeeting. she ordered 120 donuts for the parents. we got snowed in and the meeting got cancled. now i get 120 donuts!
Best Brownies
Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg would make the absolutely best weed brownies in the world together.
Douche Bag Drinkers
Don't you just hate it when there are those snobby people that don't smoke, but drink. And they are all "I hate weed, it makes you stupid. Your stupid for doing it" but then they get fucking smashed and then cheat on there boyfriend and fuck some random guy. Just saying. You just make yourself look stupid:)
Weed: 984,934,593
Alcohol: 0
pink starburst
starburst should make packages of just the pink ones. everyone knows they're the best.
Don't waste your chocolate milk
When you have an empty bottle of chocolate syrup and you still got milk, don't waste what you can't squeeze out. Poor the milk in the bottle and shake it.
Crunchy Volume
does anyone else have to turn up the TV volume when they are eating crunchy munchies?
Do you ever
think about how incredible something you are eating while sober would taste if you were blazed
Conversations about Cereal
Do you ever find yourself having the same conversation with different groups of people you smoke with? The conversation where you're baked and naming all the awesome cereals. And it's always like one person will say something like "Cinnamon Toast Crunch" and everyone will go "YEEEAH!"
Do you ever get the feeling?
That while you're high you're moving like a robot and choppy but you really look completely normal?
Dear McDonalds CEO,
Dear Mr. Ronald McDonald,
Here are some ideas I think you should take note of:
1. 24/7 Drive Thru
2. 24/7 Breakfast Menu
3. Bring back 29c Hamburger Wednesday and 39c Cheeseburger Sundays.
4. Family Meals, Including: Fries, Chicken Nugs, Cheeseburger, Big Mac, and an Apple Pie.
5. Allowing for more than one type of dipping sauce for the Chicken McNuggets
6. Beer
7. Delivery
Sincerely,
Your largest demographic, stoners.
Food for Thought Pt.1
I'm always excited to find a curly fry mixed in with my regular fries. With no concern for the origin of the mysterious fry, I humbly accept it's presents and eat it.
it would be cool if...
i could see myself from someone elses point of view.
i would probably judge myself.
Dear AriZona tea
thanks for your delicious drank in badass giant cans
you have succeeded to cure my quenchies
sincerely
me
to the guy in the macdonalds drive thru ..
who hooked us up with free fries at 3am.
You sir, are a good man.
and my hat goes off to you.
~ lets get high ~
Dear Mr. Owner of that really good Middle Eastern Restaurant:
Thank you for being so understanding whenever I come into your restaurant blazed as fuck. I'm terribly sorry that I take forever to order and randomly start laughing when I get to a word on the menu that I can't quite pronounce. You always just keep smiling and nodding, and today you even laughed along with me.
Weightlifting mishap ....
Before I went to my weightlifting class, I decided i'd smoke a couple bowls . As I was leaving for class, I noticed some cinnamon raisin bread on the counter...with my mouth watering, i toasted up 6 slices of them, and put peanut butter and strawberry jam on them. I took them to class with me, and instead of working out, i sat on a bench in the weight room and ate my sammiches . My teacher came up to me and asked me why i wasn't participating, and he immediately knew i had been smoking.... read more »
quiet munchies
Everyones always loud as fuck and noisey when im high, but as soon as we get food; we sit in silence and just eat. Like dont you always hang out with your buddies and they are being loud and wont shutup. but as soon at they start eating, its all silent. everyones too busy enoying their food to talk
