575

Successful Smokers

So sick of hearing idiots (aka republicans) say that weed is for losers. I share my profile on here with my girlfriend who is an attorney. I have a bachelor’s degree from one of the country's top business universities and about to start law school myself. This post is for my young smokers. Do not believe that weed will stop your dreams. Smoke On!

Vote Up if you're not going to let the haters stop you from chasing your dream and smoking while doing so.

529

Do you ever

catch your self in a really deep 5 minute thought, snap your self out of it and say .. " Man im really fckin high.."

448

You'd have to

If Samuel L. Jackson knocked on your door and you opened it and he said"C'mon Mutha Fucka! Get your shit and lets go, we gotta mission to complete!" wouldn't you follow him?

434

The quiet pee.

Do you ever piss in the toilet out of the water, like on the bowl, just so you aren't loud when you take a leak?

418

Back in high school

The hall monitors would always smell our fingers when we came in to see if we had been smoking.... i rubbed my hands on my testicles every day before school.....

413

cardboard cutouts

so i walk into my girlfriends room yesterday blazed and there's a lifesize cardboard thing of robert pattinson from twilight

i broke that fucker into two pieces without even thinking about it

she cried

375

Using the Bible to prove God Exists,

Is a lot like using the Harry Potter books to prove Hogwarts is a real school.

368

tenletters

"ten letters" is ten letters, and this is ten words.

356

Do Any Other Stoners

hate it when you walk into class, and at least one kid has to yell out "are you high?" BITCH IM HIGH EVERYDAY I DONT NO WHY YOUR ALWAYS SO DAMN SURPRISED

351

Why cigarettes?

Fuck them. Like they don't even get you high, and you're just spending your hard earned cash on gross little death sticks. No offense to cig smokers on this site, but I mean you could just save up that money you're always using for a pack a day to get more weed! I use to smoke almost two packs a day, but let me tell you, quitting is the best thing I've ever done! It's definitely hard, but worth it!!
UPVOTE if you agree that weed is A BILLION times better than any brand of cigarette!

349

Owned a non smoker last night

So i light a joint and the convo goes as such

Bitch- you shouldnt smoke, its bad for you
Me- ever been tanning?
Bitch- Yes
Me- Ever been to mcdonalds
Bitch- Yes

Me-....Bitch shut up

344

if you built

If you built a ring ten feet off the ground on supporting beams, all the way around the world, and then took out the supporting beams.....would it float?????

337

isnt it funny...

how drugs have taught an entire generation of american kids the metric system?

332

Sometimes when I'm watching tv

I'll be watching a commercial and completely forget what tv show I was watching before the commercial. It's always a pleasant surprise when the show does come back on.

317

If Biggie new...

that his song was mashed to miley cyrus, hed kill the bitch.

313

Spare me the noise..

Anyone else stop the microwave 1 second ahead of the buzzer?

Fuck that noise!

312

How to find out if someone is a stoner.

The best way to find out if someone smokes the green is to straight up ask them. A Non-Stoner will say yes (thinking your reffering to cigs) or no (also thinking of cigs.) Now IF you ask this to a Stoner there eyes might get wide and a little smerk will appear on their face and they'll reply, "Smoke what..?"

306

i wish slavery was legal....

so someone could pick the cotton out of my mouth

289

my brain and lungs are constantly arguing

my lungs are like "not this shit again" and my brains like "nah im gonna allow it"

283

Why don't we finally invent this

instead of complaining that there's nothing that rhymes with the word "orange," why don't we just fuckin invent one! we're in America people. we have that power.

279

We are the 14%

I was at health services the other day on campus and there were a bunch of anti-marijuana posters saying that 86% of the population doesn't smoke weed. It got me thinking... we have got to be the happiest 14% of people on the face of the earth.

279

If you wouldn't mind...

Anyone who intends on blazing tonight, I'd appreciate if you took an extra rip for Jake, I've had my German Shepard for 11 years and he is getting put down next week because I kid fell on him and he nipped her. Tonight will be one of the last nights I'll be able to blaze with him.

Rip Jake, Stay Lifted.

273

If You Mixed...

butter and "I cant believe its not butter" do you get "I can sort of believe that some of this isnt butter"?

268

Wild Marijuana Growing Everywhere!!!

get a balloon with helium in it, untie the bottom and fill it with seeds.. tie up the balloon.. let it go... it will get high enough to pop releasing seeds that will fall to the earth..

there u go.. wild marijuana

and before u click that this is a bad idea.. what do u do with all your bag seeds anyways.. might as well give em a chance :)

264

"Why do you smoke so much weed?"

I was asked this, and replied, "why would you live your life "sober" when you can get high? I mean even as much as walking down the street when your high is so much better, you can have the time of your life just walkin listening to your ipod, looking at nature, or people scopin, analyzing everything in the world and having deep thoughts, so blazed, when otherwise you would be focused on traffic,or how hot/cold it is, or other distractions to us when were high. Life high is so much better than it sober. vote up

262

I could tell my friend was more high than usual

when he mixed 4 different types of cereal and called it "I can't wait to see what this milk will taste like"

258

Does Anybody Else

Incrementally make the water just a little bit hotter in the shower? It's like my body gets used to the warmth so i crank it up just a tiny bit more and its the best thing in the world.

257

You can overdose on water

but you can't overdose on Cannabis. Just saying. . .

255

My New Pothead Girlfriend

so today i was smoking a blunt before class..so in the middle of class there was girl right next who at the time i didn't know..then all of a sudden the teacher asks me to go up to the board to solve a problem and when i go back to sit down my lighter falls out near her..and then when she reached to pick it up for me her eye drops and lighter fell out...so after class we blazed and shes my new girlfriend

255

Success

So I got high today and about 30 minutes later, a woman comes to my door and says I have been randomely selected to take a national drug use survey which I found very ironic. They give you 30 bucks for completing the survey and I just happened to be 15 bucks away from pickin up an oz. I now have an oz and a bottle because of the governments drug survey. Haha biggest fuck you to the government