"In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!"
-Woody Allen

Made popular on: 
Tue, 01/11/2011 - 1:06pm


Comments

 
Sun, 01/09/2011 - 2:57pm
Typ926 Says:
 
 
Thu, 02/17/2011 - 5:51pm
 
 
Tue, 01/11/2011 - 1:31pm
ThaBraze Says:

Then you get to live life again.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
"I don't smoke loop trick, just pure marijuana." B-Brazy

 
 
Thu, 01/13/2011 - 8:06pm
jasonmtbr Says:

"nah baby, i dont smoke no porks, only fat bags of weed in this escort." Bizarre

 
 
Tue, 01/11/2011 - 2:07pm
bubs-bunny Says:

That sounds absolutely amazing. Now i feel bad that im living life forward
-----------------
http://highdeas.com/technology/Steve_Jobs_must_be_stoner

 
 
Tue, 01/11/2011 - 2:11pm
molmolmol3 Says:
 
 
Tue, 01/11/2011 - 2:52pm
resin_bran Says:
 
 
Tue, 01/11/2011 - 2:57pm
PetePotter Says:
 
 
Tue, 01/11/2011 - 3:00pm
 
 
Tue, 01/11/2011 - 3:02pm
dagoods005 Says:
 
 
Tue, 01/11/2011 - 5:40pm
 
 
Mon, 05/14/2012 - 8:31pm

Not rele, he's saying that you would literally live the events of your life backwards not just age backwards

 
 
Tue, 01/11/2011 - 3:12pm
tiny.toker Says:

holy fuuuck. i want it.

[tiny♥toker]

 
 
Tue, 01/11/2011 - 3:12pm
bowlthrice Says:

thats how i want to do it. I WANT A REDO!

 
 
Tue, 01/11/2011 - 3:47pm
psydiana Says:

I had read this before, it is my favorite text ever...

 
 
Tue, 01/11/2011 - 4:09pm

lol i wish i could just keep upvoting this

 
 
Tue, 01/11/2011 - 4:09pm

This is awesome, but it was George Carlin, not Woody Allen.

 
 
Thu, 01/13/2011 - 4:05am
dudebroman Says:

dude... I hate people like you. its not geoge carlin. its a woody allen quote. any idiot who knows how to use google should be able to figure that out.

 
 
Tue, 05/22/2012 - 3:30pm
 
 
Wed, 10/10/2012 - 2:17am

Ditto. As long as noone Down votes the comment, it won't Disappear

 
 
Tue, 01/11/2011 - 6:11pm
Bastian647 Says:

Dude....
You just blew my fucking mind....

 
 
Tue, 01/11/2011 - 6:18pm
retrosisko Says:

I remember seeing this! Ha it's so old that I remember I posted this as a bulletin! Haha R.I.P. Myspace!

 
 
Fri, 01/14/2011 - 5:16pm
erik22 Says:
 
 
Tue, 01/11/2011 - 6:55pm
HelloAloah Says:

Imagining this is, actually, gonna keep me up all night.

 
 
Tue, 01/11/2011 - 8:19pm
Drewsalem Says:

i signed in just so i could upvote it haha
your welcome :)

 
 
Tue, 01/11/2011 - 8:40pm

that is fucking genious
we could all only wish of that

 
 
Tue, 01/11/2011 - 9:41pm
slicko Says:

that'd be sick but if you think about it would you lose knowlege on the way, or gain it? the younger you get the more smarter you'd be? thatd be legit... we'd be baby geniuses hahah

 
 
Thu, 01/13/2011 - 3:02am

not to go all english teacher on your ass but..."more smarter"??

"im high as a bitch up up and away man i come down in a couple of days" -weezy

 
 
Wed, 01/12/2011 - 2:11am

I posted this SAME EXACT thing 9 weeks ago... I just never knew who said it.

NAU!

 
 
Wed, 01/12/2011 - 2:17am
Hyyerr Says:

but giving birth to an old man would probably wreck that chicks vag.

 
 
Wed, 02/16/2011 - 8:26pm
highonMike Says:
 
 
Wed, 10/10/2012 - 2:21am
 
 
Wed, 01/12/2011 - 3:03am
Dankrupt Says:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qzzqx_b1SSc

he says it better than carl pilkington.
______________

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

 
 
Wed, 01/12/2011 - 5:44pm

whoa. what if thats what really happens? what if, in the lives we're living now, we should die and then live life backwards from that point. and all the ghosts in our world, are really just those people living life backwards. and to them we are the ghosts living our lives forward. 0_o

mind-blowing if you think about this stoned.

 
 
Wed, 02/16/2011 - 8:27pm
highonMike Says:

at first i said yeah that is, then i thought about it for a second lke wait i can't see ghosts cause theyre ghosts to me but we're ghosts to them as well? trippy man

 
 
Wed, 01/12/2011 - 6:19pm
highBEL Says:

but dude, he is married to his son's sister

 
 
Thu, 01/13/2011 - 1:20am

thats the greatest thing ive ever heard.

 
 
Thu, 01/13/2011 - 2:07am
getthedom Says:
 
 
Thu, 01/13/2011 - 4:02am
 
 
Thu, 01/13/2011 - 7:43am

wow im trippin balls right now and thats like the coolest shit ive heard allday

 
 
Thu, 01/13/2011 - 8:54am
420love18 Says:
 
 
Thu, 01/13/2011 - 1:35pm

once the partying and promiscuous lifestyle is done, life hits a speedbump going into high school, but then going back to grade school, man good times

 
 
Sun, 01/16/2011 - 12:33am
 
 
Sun, 01/16/2011 - 12:41am
mmm18 Says:

Holy shit... Best thing I've read in my entire life.

 
 
Wed, 02/16/2011 - 8:43pm
 
 
Wed, 10/10/2012 - 2:25am

Yeah..., about that... uhhmm, how do I say this nicely? Wrong!

 
 
Wed, 05/25/2011 - 11:45am
The_Finn19 Says:

And you get to end your life in a warm vagina! ha ha ha

 
 
Wed, 06/01/2011 - 3:07pm
 
 
Sat, 03/31/2012 - 3:26am

What an amazing and thought-provoking statement. Well put.

 
 
Wed, 06/27/2012 - 10:02pm