Sometimes I get high and talk to Jahovah's Witnesses about getting high. I really feel that I should start walking around neighborhoods and knocking on doors to talk to people about the importance of getting high. Coming to a neighborhood near you... Getting High Witnesses

Sometimes I get high and think that touchscreen drive-thrus should serve white chocolate milk so I can start smoking more weed really high up in a tree.

Sometimes I get high and wish that carpet didn't burn so much while having "relations" with my best friend's mother. She stopped letting me choose the carpet because her back started blistering and I, for one, think that that's fucked up! I should be able to have "relations" on the carpet without my best friend's mother complaining about the blisters on her back breaking open and adding to the fluids of our "relations". I suggest that Abbey Carpet, Empire Carpet, and all the other "inside the box" thinking carpet manufacturers wake up and think "outside the box" like my new idea... Cool Carpet, or CC as I refer to it. See, CC is such a great idea for preventing blisters during "relations" with your best friend's mother. Especially when all you want to do is bust just a CC of nut. Speaking of nuts, I really like pastaschios.

Sometimes I get high and start thinking... sometimes.

Sometimes I get high and really want to talk to God about the current situation in the random Family Guy episode I'm watching. Especially when they Feature God in the episode. It's funny watching people watch themselves on TV.

Sometimes I get high and talk to your grandmother. She's a nice lady.

Sometimes I get high and brainstorm about the things I do when I get high sometimes.

Sometimes I get high and my buddy Mike helps me brainstorm about things that sometimes happen when we get high. Mike is a nice fellow. Mike is 125 pounds... tops. Mike likes walking around in the middle of the night when he gets high, not drunk, high. Mike. Mike. Mike.

Sometimes I get high and just keep typing without any certain point to why I'm typing. Like right now. I'm just typing. You know... Typing. and typing and typing and then the aliens broke into my house through the front door. I would've thought they would choose the back door. It just makes more sense to be less obvious to the neighbors across the street. The neighbors who first experienced the Getting High Witnesses. Especially when you are a fucking alien. Stupid fucking aliens.

Sometimes I get high