Submitted by crazyawesomemg on Mon, 11/30/2009 - 8:32pm
so listen, everybody gets worked up about drug tests. ive seen a lot of friends get worked up and in a lot of trouble for failing these nasty little fuckers. i have a quick fix though. its called AZO-standard. its in your local drug store, and is in the feminine section. basically what it is is a urinary tract infection medication. your probably wondering whyd you take such a gay thing. well, it cleans out your system, flushes all toxins out in about 24 hours. you pee dark red and orange. dont be scared, its those toxins we talked about. so long story short, this is the quick fix every stoner has dreamed of. i have passed many court-appointed drug tests because of this miracle pill. your welcome
Comments
thank you for that! could come in very handy.
I could never imagine having to get a drug test for a job.. Maybe its just because I'm not use to the concept, but it would feel like such an invasion of privacy.
I hate doing that for a health exam let alone for my potential employer! lol
Why are they necessary? (this is a actual question. ^^; so hoping for an answer!!!)
its an insurance thing, its the same with alcohol if you take a piss test after a night of drinking and fail, its the same as failing for pot. if you were to get hurt at work, sober or high, weed is in your system and the companys insurance could say "fuck you buddy you had pot in your system you stoner". im no lawyer tho, so check urself too. its also an old way of telling if youll be a "good worker"...even though this country has been built by weed smokers probably for the better part of 40 years.
is this actually legit? does thc show up in your piss? i have to get drug tested for a fucking college class and cant afford to fail but i dont wanna give up my budda. any help would be appreciated.....
I started reading this and it sounded ligit, too lazy to find the answer your looking for, good luck homie.
All of the products they sell at GNC, Vitamin Shop, Health food stores are absolute wastes of your money. If you are a small time user 1-2 times per month and have low body fat you should be clean within 2 weeks. If you are a chronic user it could take up to 6 weeks to detox. The metabolites of THC are lipid soluble, they are stored in fat cells. The individuals metabolism and exercise habits can make a difference in excretion of metabolites. A skinny person who exercises a lot and uses infrequently can test negative 3 days after using. A heavy person who doesnt exercise is in a bit of a bind. All those herbal extracts mentioned are now tested for first, before testing for illegal drugs, and may be considered by some labs to be a positive immediately. Some will forward it on for gas chromography analysis and a mass spectrography assay which will then find the metabolites you have tried to mask.
Now I can tell you as a user and Pharmacist who conducted an experiments in a lab what does and doesnt work. The herbal masking agents do not work and will cause you more trouble then they are worth and will waste your money as well. You must detox using water. Large amounts of water must be ingested starting at least 36 hours before the test, up to 1 liter per 14.25kg of body weight per 24 hours. You must also supplement with creatine monohydrate, a bodybuilding supplement found in healthfood stores, at a rate of 1 teaspoon per 14.25kg of bodyweight. Just mix it with your liters of water. A prescription diuretic called Furosemide should also be added to ths water/creatine therapy at a dosage of 1 mg per kg of body weight per day administered in 2 doses. AM and Afternoon. When a specimen is examined they look for the diluteness of the sample by checking creatinine ( a byproduct of muscle metabolism) levels. Supplementing with creatine causes a sample taken after heavy water consumption to look as if normal creatinine levels are present. The diuretic which is very strong helps to flush the toxic and excess fluids from your body. Its like getting an oil change of sorts. THC metabolites may be present in your fat cells but you are essentially a faucet when you donate your specimen. The day of your test you should avoid excess physical activity and drink the water and creatine mixture and use the furosemide as stated above. You should also take Super B complex vitamins as well as vitamin C several times on the day of your test. This will provide color to the urine so that it does not appear as dilute. When you donate, urinate for a short time then hit the cup about 1/2 way through urination. This is so anything in the urethra is expelled prior to donation. Cranberry exctract may be added to the detox therapy above if you are concerned about kidney function while using the creatine monohydrate. I have been a regular smoker, 10-15 times per month, in average shpe, and used the above program to pass a screening exactly 7 days of no use. My colleagues have also used this method to test negative in screening. You may want to practice this several times, without the Furosemide. Follow the water and creatine method for 36-48 hours then get a clear glass and urinate in it as directed. Hold it up to the light and you should see the excess creatine monohydrate that has not been absorbed by the body floating in the urine like a suspension. Take your vitamins and repeat this process again. If you get a call from the testing agency inquiring about the creatinie in yoru urine simply tell then that you lift weights and jog and do use performance supplements. Good luck, this process has worked for many health care professionals who like to puff. That is why my colleagues and I set out to decifer a way to pee clean. Good luck.
Does anyone know if this is serious?
I have a drug test *supposedly* coming up in like 2 months so I was just going to let the weed in my system let itself out over the 2 months but if there's a way to pass a drug test within even like 2-3 weeks prior I'm down, cuz I've been getting bored as hell. :(
weed stays in your system much longer than other drugs, unfortunately.
Thanks man!! but isnt it sketchy if you take your drug test and your pee is orange instead of yellow?
Niacin pills work good, too. If you take them the two nights before a drug test, you should be good(:
One time I had a bladder infection, I took that AZO shit thinking it'd help, than went to the doctor, they needed a urine test to see what was really wrong with my bladder, I told them I took the AZO stuff and they said it made it to where they couldn't test my pee
So what i'm wondering is, is that how you get by the test, or is it because the AZO stuff detoxes? because if it doesn't detox than you wanna take the test while your piss is still orange instead of after the AZO is out of your system
If you're really worried about a drug test just buy some synthetic urine. It's like twenty five bucks at your local head shop or online. Works like a charm. Just make sure you keep it in the right temp. range.
niacin is much better, i smoked the night before a drug test. just take them throughout the day and after smoking, you'll be clean as a whistle.
Won't they see that you peed orange soda and know right away that you must have taken something to clean out your system?
Stuff Called "Royal Flush" works really great too. i used it and passed. You pee normal colors haa.
O and Strip Natural Detox works great too. that worked for me also. and once again. you piss normal colors ha.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/31764/azo_standard.html
It works!
I took it 2 days b4 and my piss was dark, but not orange. There were trace amounts of thc, but i blamed it on my prescription meds.
Emergency Flush is the way to go. I took that day of the test and passed.
I hope this shit works because im on probation right now, and I havent smoked in 3 weeks and I have been waiting to find something that will clear my system so that when I am drug tested I dont fail. But if this doesnt work im going to be sent to prison, so I dont want to take it if there is a risk that it wont work.
its actually not that gay because guys can get urinary tract infections too even though i think it is rare