Tonight has been by far one of the worst nights... Not because something bad happened but because my past still haunts me, I know this isn't a highdea but I needed to write it down somewhere.. I used to be a horrible drug addict it started with weed(which I love) but somehow turned into ecstasy then coke and all went downhill from their.., I formed sorta a family with 15 or so people and became very close to 3 or 4 of them. At the time I really thought we were living "the life " sleep all day be out all night we'd smoke drink take any pill available to us. It all started as sort of a joke and just fun but it turned really serious I started hanging out with people id never imagine myself to hangout with, my dance career my life in general went down the drain.. I hurt my family and my true friends in the process. I became the girlfriend of a huge drug dealer in the town I used to live in and I'd spend my days at his apartment taking my drug of choice ecstasy or anything ketamine based, and every night we'd have 20 or so people over and we'd just roll balls all night. About a year ago I came back to this city and after being clean started down the same path for "old times sake" well 4 of these people got in a car all on ecstasy and they all passed away in a horrible car accident. I was supposed to be in that car that night but I wasn't. Weird true random story. I don't know why but I can't get over those times I had with them and I miss them all very much, even tho they probably weren't true friends they gave me some of the best times that I will never forget. RIP

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Mon, 06/15/2015 - 10:33pm


Comments

 
Fri, 07/15/2011 - 3:07am
tree_mango Says:

I love your story.. and that everyone has their own. ♥

 
 
Thu, 10/20/2011 - 3:12pm

wow. i can relate to this, as i was exactly like this except im a guy and i was probably a tad younger than you. even though this is not a highdea, this is one of the best things ive read on this site.

 
 
Sun, 11/09/2014 - 4:21am
Ctodenbach Says:

If you do the same thing over and over again expecting different results, you are insane. Don't be insane. The herb can help, but if the herb leads you to sickness, perhaps it isn't for you.

 
 
Tue, 03/24/2015 - 2:42pm

I know how you feel i kinda went through the same thing expanding my experimental side of my brain and i have done a lot, and then one trip i literally freaked out on the inside but kept my composure so no one could see and then i realized that i needed help. The moment you notice when you need to change can happen right away after a bad experience, but the important thing you need to remember is that can you help yourself for the better, can you make sure to never go through that again, and can you keep the same mindset

 
 
Wed, 06/17/2015 - 9:04pm

Just for the record you cleaned up right? Either way good for you man cleaning up or realizing it's time to

 
 
Sat, 04/25/2015 - 12:08am
godeem23 Says:
 
 
Fri, 05/15/2015 - 8:45am
Tlh311 Says:

I am so sorry. I truly understand what it's like to be completely out of control of your life and you end up being around people you never would have expected just bc, for me, I needed to get that next fix. I started doing oxys when you could still break them down then I met people through my ex-boyfriend and other dealers and starting staying with a guy out in Cleveland who was 20 years older than me and all we did was shoot up. I first shot heroin there then he gave me a shot of liquid coke which was insane or they were mixed and you were handed a clean syringe and I had to ask what it was and then came speedballs.... I should be dead, but my Father moved with me down to Texas after I got out of another detox here. It's been almost 3 years now since I put a needle in my arm.... I hurt my family and all my real friends who saw me going down this spiral. But you can still feel some emotion towards the people you partied with, I feel that way at times like 'We had so much fun together', etc., etc. but you can't ever go back to them if you want to stay clean from the hard shit. My cure for what ails me is pot :-) Stick with that and keep doing what you're doing!

 
 
Fri, 05/15/2015 - 8:48am
Tlh311 Says:

I am so sorry. I truly understand what it's like to be completely out of control of your life and you end up being around people you never would have expected just bc, for me, I needed to get that next fix. I started doing oxys when you could still break them down then I met people through my ex-boyfriend and other dealers and starting staying with a guy out in Cleveland who was 20 years older than me and all we did was shoot up. I first shot heroin there then he gave me a shot of liquid coke which was insane or they were mixed and you were handed a clean syringe and I had to ask what it was and then came speedballs.... I should be dead, but my Father moved with me down to Texas after I got out of another detox here. It's been almost 3 years now since I put a needle in my arm.... I hurt my family and all my real friends who saw me going down this spiral. But you can still feel some emotion towards the people you partied with, I feel that way at times like 'We had so much fun together', etc., etc. but you can't ever go back to them if you want to stay clean from the hard shit. My cure for what ails me is pot :-) Stick with that and keep doing what you're doing!

 
 
Sat, 05/30/2015 - 2:51pm
vizvizi Says:
 
 
Mon, 06/01/2015 - 4:14am
DeeDox Says:

I am so sorry for your loss and the hard times you've been through. :( We're all in this together! If there's anything we can do to help, don't hesitate to let us know. I hope you can find peace from some of this, and a brighter future!

 
 
Sun, 08/07/2016 - 5:38am
TenaciousD Says:

Just curious... How can you help from behind a computer screen?

 
 
Sun, 06/14/2015 - 8:16pm
Richman992 Says:

Very similar story with me... Got cleaned up and now all I need is good old endo:)

 
 
Wed, 06/17/2015 - 12:21pm
 
 
Tue, 06/16/2015 - 4:13pm

I started out smoking some pot every now and then with a couple of my close childhood friends when we were like 15 years old. A year after that, we met this guy at school that lived a few streets away from us; literally a 5 minute walk, and i could tell he smoked weed. We started hanging out with the guy for a long time. We would stay over there for weeks at a time and not come home. Us being like 16-17 years old. We would basically just smoke a bunch of pot all day everyday. If we ran out.. Our new friend would find a way to get more and always some fire shit. That was a great time but then we met another dude that went to our school and he slowly worked his way in. After he was there for a while he started asking people if they wanted to do this or that. From triple C's to X to molly. I partook in a few of the lesser ideas but generally just watched others. After a while people moved away and they left that house to the guy who had all the ideas of drugs, essentially. Around this time they are starting to get into some serious shit with some hardcore drugs and gang affiliation. I decided it was my time to no longer be at that house, besides, my mom was angry as fuck at me all the time because i was literally always there. But about 2 weeks after I stopped going over there I see on the news that the house was raided by a bombsquad. Apparently they had made PIPEBOMBS and threatened to blow somebody's shit up or something, idk. but if I had decided to stay a bit longer, i could have easily been a part of that. No moral to this story. The OP shared a story now I share one back. Your shit was wack tho for real OP

 
 
Wed, 06/17/2015 - 12:49am

It seems every man and women of herb has a sorry, and if we are sharing here is mine world.

It was the start of a new decade and something new, and everyone thought the world was going to end in December. Funny story is it did not, and the year only continued to get worse for me personally and on a global scale. After the world worse heart break and enough of luck like sewage; I snapped and fell into what the straight kids called the vortex. I did not care and wanted something new, and with family life slowly evolving, drugs were not the worst thing. Marijuana slipped into my life but the moment it hit my mental state and opened up thoughts, ideas, and new views; I then kept exploring. At first it was as secret and almost got busted only a few months into the winter of twenty thirteen. For that spring I stopped, but became stoned the entire summer of twenty thirteen. When fall came and 11th grade rolled around so did the more experimental drugs. Mostly hallucinogenics and weed was what was in my blood stream at the time, and no this is not some happy get lucky story. This dark twisted tale gets worse. I started dealing in the fall, as I continued a little bit off summer. More pills came prevalent as I made new friends and began to know every soul in town. Almost eighty percent of my town does drugs, and one half is very sketchy. This lead to me being chased by dealers on atv's, illegal street racing, trespassing hundreds of time, illegal rally racing, and of coarse other small things. Until May twenty fourteen, I got busted in a house for trespassing in an already broken in home. We thought the place was abandoned, we were wrong. That summer went to hell and my dad began to go crazy, while my mom was trying to slowly patch everything always. I started leading my own life, and no one seemed to give a shit. I kept on moving, got my community service done, and pushed into a new chapter which was Sr year. The worst year of my life, I lost many friends for things I did not do. For half the school year I stayed quiet, until I started working at a ski resort. Gave me a home away from home for the winter as I even got to tour the northeast usa snowboarding with my new friends. Better part is I was the only stoner out of the group so it was a major help on focusing on life. Home life got worse though in the background, my dad left, cheated, and fucked us over. Now in present day, I'm just a kid out of high school having a hell time figuring a way to pay a mortgage left behind. Also in the sidelines my party life still continues as adventure around this fine earth, and yes the herb still remains. Last but not least LSD, salvia, and other triptomeans has been in my life. It's still going to be one crazy ride; for now, I work, sleep, and go on vacation on the week ends. Here comes college as well.

 
 
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