"There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. There is a signpost ahead - your next stop, The Yoinkie Zone."

Tonights episode is about a man. He is an ordinary man living in a world that was just as ordinary as yours, but not anymore. This man is about to write a letter, the last letter he will ever write. This letter doesnt hold any significance to you, per say. But this letter is old, very, very, very old. Just when was this letter written? To find out, you must step inside... The Yoinkie Zone.


Dear, whoever. Dear, somebody. Who am I kidding, no one will ever read this. But I must write it regardless. I need to write it. My name is John Ringleton, father of two children, married to one Rita Ringleton, and assistant supervisor... Ex assistant supervisor at the AHDP observatory. Yes, I am the same John Ringleton you have read about in the papers these last few months. I dont even know where to begin, so I guess ill just begin at the start. I have less than 10 minutes to write this, so please forgive me if it seems rushed.

It started on a Sunday. At least I think it was a Sunday. Of course, we dont call it a Sunday anymore, we just call it "day 1". Me and my former colleague Bill Write were working the late shift 10-6am. Around 3:29am, we detected an abnormally large amount of X-rays and Gamma rays coming from the Delta H-3 quadron, which is outside of our solar system, a few billion miles away. After doing more research and projecting the trajectory of the nearest planets to the anomaly, we noticed large gaps. In layman's terms, planets and Spacial objects directly around this anomaly were no longer following their gravitational paths, meaning this anomaly was interfering with their gravity. After calling in all our fellow colleagues and crunching out all the numbers, we all agreed that this anomaly was what Bill Write and I had initially feared.

The AHDP observatory is one of the only privately funded Observatories on the planet; which means we are not legally obligated to report any findings directly to the government. I firmly believe this is the only reason why the world now knows. The Owner of AHDP was Rupert goldstein, who is also the owner of FUX news. He reported our findings all over all his networks the very next day.

Ofcourse, the government came in and tried to deny it all. But they knew they were too late. One by one, my colleagues were taken in for questioning, and almost all of them never returned. I was never once approached by any official. How could they, all over the papers it said my name. "John Ringleton, makes the biggest discovery in human history" Yada yada, yada. They couldnt approach me, they knew they couldnt. I was constantly under surveillance by news companies from around the globe. I knew then and there, that the government, they must have known. They MUST have known before we found out. But they kept it a secret. They kept it from us, the public, for god knows how long. I dont fully understand why or where they took my colleagues, other than the fact that they were just pissed off at us. Figures, Fuck them too.

On Day 18, the president finally came out and admitted what we all knew all along. They really think that the rest of us are oblivious unless under their control. I mean, they shut down NASA and stopped most of its funding months ago. Makes sense, no need to explore space anymore, when there wont be one left to explore.

On Day 27, just nine days after there "official" announcement, The president told us about there plan of action. Something about a lottery, spaceships, underground caves, along those lines. In just nine days, our government had built spaceships, underground caves, and devised a full-proof lottery system. We live in a country that doesnt have health care, highest unemployment rate in 70 years, and more pollution than we know what to do with. We cant fix those problems, ever, but they actually think we would believe they built spaceships and underground caves, in nine fucking days.

On Day 65, they conducted the lottery. Each country had their own way of doing it, but they mostly followed our way. We had 14 ships, 800 passengers each. If your having a tough time doing the math, that means that out of 230 million of us, only 10,000 of us would be "saved". They claimed each ship had enough fuel and food to last 5 years. Enjoy your journey fellas, you are just delaying the inevitable. Even if they could get away, which they wont, where would they go? Most people were too stupid to go about figuring that one out. They just wanted on the ships. They thought it was there "savior". I didnt even sign up for the lottery. If I was going down, I wanted a front row seat to the end of it all.

Not much time left now. I figure I should start typing faster if I want to say everything I need to say. On Day 103(less than two weeks until the D-Date) they started filing out major cities and taking them to the underground caves. These caves were massive, and well stocked with food, water and supplies. I saw pictures of it, it actually looks like a nice place to live. These caves were open to everyone...as long as you had enough money to afford it. I always wondered, what does the government need money anymore, anyways? I figured it was just there one last chance to stick it to the common man. Again, I didnt sign up for these caves. You have to be pretty stupid to think that you would actually have any chance of surviving. And why would I hide inside a cave anyway? Like i said, I know im going to die, I want to see it happen before my eyes. No sir, I built myself a 10 inch bulletproof glass case. No, not because I think i will survive in this, but because I think I will survive long enough inside of this to actually get a good look. I wont be hit by flying debris, at least for a few seconds.

So here we are, Day 123. D-Date. Sure is lonely in my neighborhood, no one from my street has stuck around. I think the old couple down the street has, but I havent seen them in 2 days. They may have just offed them selves. There has been a lot of speculation about how this will all go down. But not until 2 days ago have we been sure of its direct path. Some scientists believed it would approach from the east, and take our sun before it would impact us at all. The freeze would be instant, we wouldnt even feel a thing here on earth. But nope, we cant be that lucky. Some have thought it would approach from the west, and throw our planet off our gravitational orbit and send us flying through universe at speeds 10X that of our current orbit. This, would also kill us instantly. It would be cold and hot simultaneously, even those in the caves would be crushed in less than a second. This death would be easy and quick, but of course not. We arent that lucky. We are going into this thing head on, really a one in a million chance. Scientists have argued for decades about what would happen in this scenario, and any one number of theories could be correct. Why dont you stick around for...oh 2 more minutes, and ill tell you exactly which theory is correct!

They say that matter can never be created or destroyed. So where does a planet go when it disappears inside of a black hole? It has to go somewhere, right? And this Black hole will have eaten thousands upon thousands of planets and stars before it reaches us. I once met a man who told me something about Black holes I have never forgotten. He said, that all the planets, matter, mass and energy that a black hole eats, it spits it out somewhere. We dont know "where" but somewhere. We dont know if it spits it out in our universe, far far away, or some sort of parallel universe. This man told me that once a black hole has "devoured" enough mass and energy, it will spit it out an object no bigger than an ice cube somewhere. This object will have infinite mass and energy, and once it leaves the black hole, it will erupt, sending all this mass and energy out into the universe from one singular moment. Almost, like a really Big Bang, you could say. Who knows if this man is right, or if hes just crazy, but his theory sure did make a lot of sense to me. So who knows, maybe our destruction will just be the beginning of something else.

Well, that about does it for me here, it seems ive run out of time. Kind of sad that I have just one ticket to this show. I asked my wife and kids to stay, but they refused; they didnt want to be around for any of this. But hey, who knows, maybe ill be tore up into little pieces and then re-assembled on the other side! If i do, ill be sure to write a follow-up article to this. But until then, this is John Ringleton, signing out. The show is about to start!

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Thu, 09/15/2011 - 9:29pm


Tue, 09/13/2011 - 8:59pm

About to read this, but before i do, i just want to tell you that your highdeas have made it into my daily routine (:

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 9:14pm
yoinkie Says:

yay! and thank you. And let me know what you think about this one!

Fri, 09/16/2011 - 12:01am

hmm this sounds a lot like a book called "everything matters" by Ron Currie Jr. but with a black hole instead of an asteroid. Not saying yours is a copy but if you like this kind of stuff its a pretty good book about the end of the world.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 9:06pm
bdayton94 Says:

Excited to read this...it's been to long since the last yoinkie story=p

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 9:12pm
yoinkie Says:

ya its been a while since ive been on here in general. Ive been having a tough time lately, and today I realized that writing makes me feel a lot better. I have dozens of ideas floating about in my head, check back soon and you might find a few of em posted!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 9:21pm
bdayton94 Says:

I literally check daily to see if you have a new story/post! Not to sound creepy just a big fan=p

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:13pm

Well it's about time my good sir! I've also been checking daily for something new from you, and I'm glad to see you come back with such a good read! I knew it was going to be good about 4 words in, because I caught on to the Twilight Zone refrence :D

Wed, 09/14/2011 - 1:06pm
yoinkie Says:

ya man I loved the Twilight Zone. Some of the best short stories ever put together. my personal favorites are about the kid who controls the whole town with his mind. And the movie sketch with John Lithgow, and he sees an alien on the wing of his plane. That story haunted my childhood and I still cant fly properly without thinking about it, haha.

Wed, 09/14/2011 - 2:46pm

I can't even explain to you how happy it makes me that I'm not the only one afraid of flying because of that episode! My favorite is this one... I can't quite remember the storyline that well, maybe I will when I'm sober. But it was this little town with like 25 people in it, and something like an isolation and a power outage? Anyways they end up all killing eachother, and it zooms out to these 2 aliens in their ship who were observing the town, and they say something to the extent of "See blah blah? This race is too violent to be taken from isolation blah blah!" Like I said, I'll probably remember the story line when I'm sober but I'm kiting right now haha.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:17pm
Codstoner Says:

Wow. I was about to go to bed untill i saw this. Literally blew my mind on how you could come up with this. I think you should invest in writing a book of your stories. And then when people ask how you created them just be like well. It's all because of mary jane or some shit lol. Amazing story man. Keep it up!

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 6:12pm

I second this. Write a book, man. You're wasting your talents here.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 8:48pm
yoinkie Says:

talent is never wasted, sir, no matter where you are. Ive got a million stories floating about in my head, and if I do get around to writing a book, ill have a million ideas on how to write the book.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:19pm
Codstoner Says:

Wow. I was about to go to bed untill i saw this. Literally blew my mind on how you could come up with this. I think you should invest in writing a book of your stories. And then when people ask how you created them just be like well. It's all because of mary jane or some shit lol. Amazing story man. Keep it up!

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:19pm
Codstoner Says:

Oh yeah! The FUX news thing was funny to :)

Wed, 09/14/2011 - 1:00pm
yoinkie Says:

haha yea I thought that was pretty funny. And the owner "rupert goldstein" when the real owner is rupert murdoch.

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:29pm

I told myself I'd take a hit after each paragraph. I look down after I read it and I've hit my bowl once. Very well written, sir.

Wed, 09/14/2011 - 1:21am
Brawla Says:

another excellent read. I love your style man.

Wed, 09/14/2011 - 8:31am

Man if I could choose a way to go out being sucked through a black hole would probably be #1 on the list. I've heard the same thing about the other side too and McHighver had this idea that they are stars in other universes that burn off all the shit they suck in. I'll be honest tho this reminded me of something else you wrote and expected it to end differently, like it all being a government hoax to heard all the people to the caves and nuke the world while the priveledged were on the boats
-edit- the one it reminded me of-> http://highdeas.com/hd/Dear_Reader_Please_Read

Wed, 09/14/2011 - 1:08pm
yoinkie Says:

ya I guess there are some similarities. But I didnt write this story for a surprise ending or anything. Unlike the other story which was all describing the event, this story was all about the main character and how he copes with end of the world. Twilight zone was one of my favorite series ever. One of the main reason i loved it so much was because the stories were for the most part, bizarre, but the thing that made the show so great was the characters and how they react to such situations. Its fun to go inside the mind of a person whose dealing with something incredible. I was also going to write about how he "put down" his family himself and how it made him go crazy, but I totally forgot to until I pressed the submit button.

Wed, 09/14/2011 - 10:17pm
aaron.28 Says:

yeah an Einstein rosenbridge where 2 black holes form a tunnel between spacetime. Thats some cool shit

Wed, 09/14/2011 - 1:13pm

Wow!! Bro, you have talent... Make great use of it. I'm ducking mind blown right now haha

Wed, 09/14/2011 - 5:28pm

yoinkie dude, your highdeas are fucking awesome man..not many others post actual highdeas anymore and yours are all worth reading. keep em coming! it's a nice change frum the usual bullshit people post on here..thanks yoinkie!

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 1:04am
Hemp-Lion Says:

Send us flying at 10x our current orbital speed.....insta-death smh man. It would be like the greatest thing ever if we could observe a planet being thrown off its orbit at 10x its regular speed, that would be some powerful shit to see.....

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 8:30pm

wow you literaly got me so caught into this shit th i stoped sexting this girl just to read this in peace omg tht was amazing thank you!!!

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 8:43pm

Sickness my friend. You really have a great way of capturing certain key elements in a story.
I also have to say I had some REALLY intense deja vu reading the beginning. I almost couldn't believe the date I was so sure I had seen it before. Anyway though great stuff.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 8:57pm
yoinkie Says:

maybe in your previous life, you were a John Ringleton, and watched your planet be destroyed by a blackhole. Reading this story just brought back deja vu, from your experience.

You lucky SOB, I want to sit and watch a black hole come at me.

EDIT: I re-read your comment and noticed you said beginning. The beginning is not mine, sad to say. The first paragraph, the one in quotations, is the opening from season 3 of the twilight zone.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 9:58pm

Hahah I can only hope I witnessed something that incredible!

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 10:44pm

I had this dream where the world was sucked into a black hole and we all came out on the other side with super powers

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 8:44pm
StayPuft Says:

These are nothing short of exceptional.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 8:53pm
SkylarL Says:

amazing man, as soon as i saw the title i knew i would not be disappointed.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 9:34pm

GAAAAAAAAA this was epic.

Kudos Mr. Yoinkie.

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 10:36pm
pizzaman19 Says:

awesome man, i love your writing style. ive been writing creatively for a while now and in my notebook at the top of the page ill put and s or h (for high or sober) so i can look back at my stories and have a good laugh. you inspire me man so thank you for that :)

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 10:59pm
Fri, 09/16/2011 - 1:22am

That guy is a fucking monster to type all that in under ten minutes...

Mon, 10/10/2011 - 12:37am
recmds Says:
Tue, 10/11/2011 - 3:34pm
recmds Says: