Jay ended up getting accepted to San Diego State (SDSU) which was his dream school since he could remember. At this point all of his childhood best friends have moved away or joined the military. His whole life he had a close group of friends for support , and now he is going to be on his own 500 miles away.

Jay made the best of his summer before college by partying and hanging out with his high school best friends to get ready or as they called it "pregaming" to attend the best party school this side of the Mississippi. He would get accustomed to the party life of which he tried to live out his fantasy's. He would drink away his demons that he thought he grew out of his insecurities and self doubt would get the best of him.

Jay had the idea of trying to re-create himself. Create a new self image , a new and improved Jay. This would later be reason why he would destroy himself. His ego got the best of him.

Because of his past failures in High School , and not living up to his ideal of what or who he should have been would later add fuel to the fire burning inside of Jay. His ideal of who he should have been was the very stereotyped version of himself. The tall , tan , good looking jock , all the guys loved and all the women wanted to get with. In reality, he was just an below average looking , gaming nerd , high IQ , social outcast who had a talent in sports.

Jay would enter his first year of college full of fake stories and an ego to match. He would live out his dream of being the "known" dude on campus , by being invited to one of best fraternities in the nation ( ΠΚΑ ). He later joined the sports club and would do very well against the other frats. Jay thought to himself:

" Maybe this is the life i should have been living. Maybe this is it. "
Just has his points per game was going up , his GPA was going down at the same rate. He was losing the whole reason he was down there ... to go to school.

His main worries was: Who was i going to hang out with? Who was i going to hook up with this weekend ? How many beers can i drink ? How many Beer Pong games can i win tonight ? How many blunts can i smoke tonight ?.

He was losing sight of his goals of making music and designing a video game. And with his sight gone ... his vision would soon leave with it. After a full year of a drunken stupor , Jay would have to drop out of school for failing too many classes. Depressed , scared and alone Jay would move back with his family to try and put together the pieces of his broken and lost soul....................
.
.
.
.
.
. And this is where the story ends..... For now.
Because the story i just told you was my life story so far , The Boy Named Cazz is me. Zac ( my name backwards lol ) And I'm living in my own story .... Exactly where i left you at.

Made popular on: 
Mon, 08/06/2012 - 5:52pm


Comments

 
Mon, 06/04/2012 - 3:37pm

I thought it was an outstanding story (Biography?) that I could relate to a lot. It was very emotional as well. Maybe in a few years you can write part 4, eh?

Oh, and I kind of expected it being your life story. Not going to lie. Thanks for writing this. It makes me question myself and my position in society. Part 1 was a lot like my own life, although I am very fortunate to not suffer from the depression that you did. I am not old enough to experience part 2 and draw parallels, but I feel like in some way, by reading this, my future will change. Good luck to you, and if you had the insight and hindsight to write this, than I beleive you will go far.

 
 
Tue, 06/05/2012 - 12:28am
MoLTReZ Says:

Thanks man , I could have added tons of back/funny/weird stories to this. I was honest with myself , you guys wouldn't wanna read a hella long story just for a nut shot laugh.

And glad to see you could stick around for the whole story :)

 
 
Tue, 06/05/2012 - 6:46am

Wow man thanks for letting me know you put this up. I haven't been on in a while, I'm glad you're holding together and like ibowlforchowder said I can relate to just about the whole story except for the whole college part because my older siblings had my dad co sign their loans and when it came to my turn all our loans got turned down. I know things will turn around for everyone during bad times, I'm just waiting for my time. You're a good writer and a pretty funny person.

 
 
Tue, 06/05/2012 - 6:54pm
 
 
Tue, 06/05/2012 - 8:36pm

This was nice did not see the ending coming though.

 
 
Wed, 06/06/2012 - 12:08pm
tomidemi Says:

I've been waiting for it for long and it left me speechless. Never saw that coming.
Totally worth reading. Good work Moltrez!!

 
 
Tue, 06/12/2012 - 12:29am
yoinkie Says:

well, I kinda guessed it was about you early on because I remember talking to you some of these things somewhere(through messages or a different highdea, I cant remember). But yea, man, it feels like you lost a little focus, like a lot of us do when we get to college and what not. That sucks man, im sorry to hear, but you are still young as fuck and you can start something completely new and do the best damn job you can at it, and still be young to enjoy the good life. Just regroup inside of your mind, stop lieing to yourself, and just be you man. Learn to limit things that need limits(the partying), its a very important lesson that I think we all learn gradually in our own ways. Anyways man, good luck with whatever your trying to do now, and if you ever want to talk, you know im there for you buddy.

 
 
Tue, 06/12/2012 - 4:49am
MoLTReZ Says:

Thanks man , everything is going well. I'm back in school , playing ball for my school and starting to get back to the old me... the better me. It's been a weird few years. Anyone who says ages 17-21 isn't a huge part of your life is lying. I want to re-read this in a few more years and see where i'm at.

And you're right , sometimes we lose track of what is important in life like friends , family , love and our well-bring. I just say , it's better to have fucked up now then later in life when if i miss a rent date or miss a payment i would get so much more fucked over then just moving back with family.

 
 
Thu, 06/14/2012 - 10:08am

Open and honest man. Thanks for sharing this all. I'm sorry that you had to go through it all, but like you said its better that it happened now. I think we can all learn a lot by the mistakes we've made in the past. Being able to reflect and share this is a step in the right direction. The farther into the future that you look back on this, the more you'll learn. Best of luck going forward. I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for in life.

 
 
Mon, 07/09/2012 - 10:21pm
hammychese Says:
 
 
Mon, 07/23/2012 - 11:19pm
Rugitout Says:

Though my life is quite different from you, you write remarkably similar to me, it's weird.
I thought it was fiction because the basis of all fiction is life experience, but damn man.
Same thing sorta happened to me, came to shanghai and am getting a double major in one of the top colleges in Asia for $5000 a year tuition. $15 all you can drink.
It's the right way to get back on track, its all about work fucking hard, drink fucking hard after mentality.

 
 
Sat, 08/04/2012 - 12:50pm

in the sequel there should be a maybe a naked girl or two. just sayin, like to get better numbers..

 
 
Sat, 08/04/2012 - 3:31pm
 
 
Sat, 08/04/2012 - 5:59pm
rondu3 Says:
 
 
Fri, 08/24/2012 - 10:25am
mindgames Says:

First of all, Setting Jersey shore as your "Dream" or "what you should have been", Is your first mistake. Second, whats the point of going to college with dumb things on your mind like partying, creating a new self image, and being the cool guy on campus?

 
 
Mon, 08/06/2012 - 6:49pm

amazing story/life man i like the way you wrote it made it enjoyable to read

 
 
Mon, 08/06/2012 - 7:45pm

Great story, sad that its true but people never stay down too long only if they let themselves.. hope all is well in the future dude..

 
 
Tue, 08/07/2012 - 1:55am
TheOffice Says:
 
 
Wed, 08/08/2012 - 9:08pm

Wow man. You just inspired me to change the way I am. My life so far sounds like yours. And it doesn't need to be.

 
 
Sat, 03/09/2013 - 12:28pm