I have these days, that are unlike most other days. these days arent neccesarily influenced by the days leading up to them, nor does anything of a particular nature put into motion these days. these days, are kind of like inner cleanses from my subconscious. On these days, the world becomes a complete stranger to me, and the people in it appear to be completely insane. This will take me some time to explain to you exactly what I mean,so we better get started. Mind you, today was one of these days for me, so if I sound slightly insane to you at the moment, its probably because I am. I'm not sure where to begin, so Ill just start with the first thing that comes to my mind...right...now.

Do you ever have an intense dream where the subplots arent logical or realistical? If you look back on these dreams, you probably think, "that dream was kind of dumb/silly/boring/pointless/irrelevant." But do you remember the exact moment that you woke up from this dream? Didnt it feel absolutely AMAZING? Didnt it feel like, what you just went through was of the utmost importance? But then the day goes on, and your mind starts convincing you that the dream was not all that amazing at all. "frankly" says your awake mind, "That dream was quite blahrific." Ive had a large amount of these dreams occur. my dreams are completely and utterly out there, insane, you could say. The things my sleeping subconscious conjures up is on the corner of lunacy and complete madness. Ill have something happens that will make me cry and cry, and wake up still crying. But then as the day goes on, my mind will tell me that dream wasnt all that sad. Ill have a dream where I meet the perfect girl, and we have the perfect day. Then Ill wake up, and my mind will slowly start to tell me that there really wasnt anything special about the day in the dream. And that girl? She had flaws, "remember when she said ____ in the dream, that was kind of stupid." But good god, the 5-10 minutes after I awoke from that dream, I was completely convinced that I just dreamt of pure love.

Why is this? Why does your waking mind give such little value to these beautiful dreams? Are they really not all that special, and your logical mind lets you know this? Or are we meant to be insane, but when we wake up, we are given doses of "sanity" to make us realize that insanity is just not the way to go. I feel like reality is sort of a medicine to cure what ails you. And what ails you is nothing, but reality leads you to believe this not to be true. Confused? So am I, so lets move on.

I had a sort of freak out moment on the streets the other day. Heres how it went down. I was walking through downtown around mid day. My friend gave me a super poten batch of brownies, and since I had nothing to do for 4 or so hours, I decided to walk around, look at people, then find a good spot to sit down and read. As I was walking down the street, I started to notice what I usually notice about strangers: most of them are total dicks. Most people ignore people asking for change or just homeless in general like they are the plague. Like if they get too close to them, they will get sucked into a black hole and become homeless, or some shit. Hey, dont want to give someone change? Thats ok, just tell them so and smile, then tell them to have a nice day. You dont have to avoid complete eye contact starting from half a block away, thinking "oh god, here comes a bum. dont look dont look OH FUCK HE SAW ME NOW HES GONNA ASK FOR DEM QUARTERS, NOOOOO." Can I get over the fact that most of society are a bunch of assholes who treat others poorly because of their financial or physical condition? Fuck no. But do I understand why they do so? Sure. Blame the parents, the media, the schools and the whole fucking lot of them. We are, afterall, a society, and we must act an exact way or else we wont fit in! Fuck that noise, god damnit. Im sick of these rules and regulations and appearances that need to be met. But I digress, and move forwards with telling you about my freak out.

So...I get it, most of society is scared of homeless, or the poorly dressed, or even the mentally handicap. like THATS not enough...most of society is even scared of everyone else. Let me explain: I have a lot of dogs in my apartment building, and there are a lot of floors, and I live near the top, so I spend a good few minutes on the elevator each day. You dont really know how much society as a whole sucks until you get to witness them on an elevator. You could say that most of the people that live in my building are above average in wealth, so heaven forbid you dress comfortable or they wont even smile or acknowledge your "hello". Now, regardless of how I dress, I always need to talk to people. Its just who I am. Im perfectly fine talking to myself in my mind, but if there is anyone around me, id rather talk to them. Most of the time, people in my elevator return my hello, then proceed to stare at a certain predetermined spot on the wall to avoid all forms of eye contact(sometimes I feel like the small signs in my elavator were put in for socially awkward people who need something to do with their eyes so as to avoid meeting them with the eyes of others). There arent a lot of times where people will actually want to carry on a conversation with me, even though I try to keep it fresh and entertaining(instead of talking about weather, I try and meet with them on a social level). Some do, most dont. But then my dog comes in. I have a very cute dog, and without fail, EVERYONE will talk to my dog in the elavator. They will completely throw out all common society standards, and start making baby noises or just whatever. You know how people talk to dogs, I dont need to explain it to you really. Its funny, people would rather talk to a dog that rarely ever says anything in return, then another human being.

I feel like im losing track of where I was going, so lets just cut right to the chase. I was walking down a street in downtown, high as fuck on a very potent brownie, getting slightly annoyed at how the world treats...well, the world. I smile at a person, they saw it, and looked away. I smiled at another person, and amost the same thing. I said hello to a person sitting at a coffee table next, and they looked up, gave half a grin and went back to looking at their triple venti latte with cream. And I walked a little more, looking around at how proper and robotic most people were. There were street musicians playing beautiful music, and people wouldnt even stop for a second to listen to them, pretending to hurry because they had more important things to do( you are carrying three shopping bags and are in a shopping district, I know damn well you aint got shit to do but spend that all mighty dollar on your own god damn self. Heaven forbid you dont have the nicest suade jacket in this bitch). People dont even stop for a second, because hey, "if I stop to listen, ill have to probably give them a few cents. I cant spare any of my cents for a street musician!"

God damnit, I got off track again, so here it is: I saw a guy walking, holding a copy of "Slaughterhouse five" which coincedentally happens to be one of my favorite books. So I asked him, "Hey man how are you liking that book so far?" To which he replied, "its good". And I asked, "Have you read anything else by Vonnegut?" to which he proceeded to tell me "I dont have time to talk, sorry." He then changed his walking pace, which was previously casual and observant, to fast and getthefuckawayfrommestrangerstoptryingtobefriendly. So at this point, my brain told me, "thats ok. Just keep walking straight and lets go home." But then a voice from even deeper inside told me, "Fuck this shit. Lets go crazy." And of course, I decided to listen to the latter. I started laughing, which entail made me want to start skipping. I felt like I needed to sing a melody to my rhytemic jumping, so I did. I saw a nice old man who looked like he needed a hug, so I fucking hugged him. I felt like dancing to the guy playing a beautiful piece on his guitar, so I danced. This blatent disragard for societal unspoken rules went on for 15-20 minutes, the whole walk home. I just didnt give a shit anymore, about anything. I did whatever the fuck I wanted, and didnt even bother to look at people reactions because I already knew what they would be. It was an odd, but almost enlightening experience. I felt free. To others, I probably looked like I was high on acid.

Was there a point to me telling you any of this? Maybe. I just felt like writing at this moment, and ranting, you could say. So this is what came out. Society is like this well refined robotic machine. It evolves, and mutates into something that is acceptable, polite, "well-mannered"....thing. Its like it evolved to the point that it actually thinks it has a say inside of my mind. Like it can tell me that my dreams are silly, and they are never as great as I originally imagine them to be. It thinks its so fucking incredible, because everyone basically obeys it(unless they are high or drunk).

"You're obliged to pretend respect for people and institutions you think absurd. You live attached in a cowardly fashion to moral and social conventions you despise, condemn, and know lack all foundation. It is that permanent contradiction between your ideas and desires and all the dead formalities and vain pretenses of your civilization which makes you sad, troubled and unbalanced. In that intolerable conflict you lose all joy of life and all feeling of personality, because at every moment they suppress and restrain and check the free play of your powers. That's the poisoned and mortal wound of the civilized world." ~Octave Mirbeau, Torture Garden

"Our modern society is engaged in polishing and decorating the cage in which man is kept imprisoned." ~Swami Nirmalananda, Enlightened Anarchism


Made popular on: 
Sat, 03/30/2013 - 2:49pm


Tue, 01/08/2013 - 2:49pm

I couldn't agree more man we're all brainwashed and don't even know it, until someone says something or does something like in your case, then we're called crazy. But it's funny because the one who is calling us crazy are the most ignorant mother fuckers around. Like you said when you were doin all your dances lol, you didn't give a fuck, and to break out of social norms that's exactly what you gotta do. You make me proud yoinkie as long as there's people like you in this world I can't be too worried, thank you for making me think.

Tue, 01/08/2013 - 7:58pm

i definately feel you on this. i was sitting in a waiting room today waiting to pick up my drugged mom from the doctor, and i had the same feeling. instead of choosing to actually have a conversation with any of the people there, for whatever reason everyone prefers to sit and blankly stare at their feet. it just doesnt make sense. and god forbid someone takes the seat next to you, most people dread it even knowing damn well that the person is probably not one of the rare cases that does try to have conversations. its like nobody cares anymore. wed rather make friends with our phones and tablets than an actual living breathing SPEAKING human being... its depressing, really.

Sat, 03/30/2013 - 4:53pm

im dont fucking wanna talk to other people a lot of the time, why would i? when i can talk with myself in my head why would i rather want to talk with a stranger other than once in a while???

Wed, 01/09/2013 - 8:21pm
tomidemi Says:

We spend more, but we have less.
We buy more, but we cherish less.
The houses are bigger, but the families are smaller.
We acquire more knowledge, but less wisdom.
We have more experts, but we have more problems.
We lay down too late, we woke up tired, don't read much, and don't meditate much also.
We have increased our possessions, but we have reduced our values​​.
We rush but don't wait.
We try not to litter the air and the ground, but we continue to pollute the soul and mind.
We know more people, but we have fewer friends.
We have more media, but less communication.
We have traveled to the moon, but we find it difficult to cross the street to meet the neighbor.
We've conquered outer space, but we have moved away from our inner space.

Fri, 01/11/2013 - 12:01pm
Twitler Says:

Man i wish i could upvote this another 100 times to get it popular. This is exactly what I've noticed about our world. I've realized we live in a (mostly) flawed, narcissistic self-centered society. The respect for our own consciousness, and realizing that we are all one has completely diminished.

I strongly believe any psychedelic drug brings this realization back to us. Maybe that's also why its kept illegal and demonized.

Wed, 01/30/2013 - 10:57am
AdamOest Says:
Thu, 03/07/2013 - 5:59pm
x2Junt Says:
Sat, 03/16/2013 - 9:09pm

If you read a lot, you would enjoy "The Four Agreements," I think it would help a lot with these intense feelings you're having. It is a very moving book, somewhat spiritual, but you have to take it with a grain of salt. The solid message is a deep one.

Tue, 03/19/2013 - 4:42pm
kkkendra Says:

I totally agree. that's why weed is good, because I am totally unsocial until I smoke a bowl. And you know that awkward feeling where you know the situation is awkward? when I'm high, its like I know its awkward but I cant feel the awkwardness. its nice.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 11:40pm

These two quotes made me laugh audibly; Confused?
"So am I, so lets move on."
"Fuck this shit. Lets go crazy."
Thank you for voicing this, I try to break social norms by starting conversations, because I feel like other people need that reassurance that not every stranger is a psychopath. I picked up a hitch hiker the other day, (which when I saw him I almost thought I made a mistake because this guy looked like the textbook definition of street-side killer/rapist) but I decided, you know what, fuck it. If I get killed and raped for helping out some dude I guess I don't want to live in this world anyway. About 5 minutes down the road we're talking about how milk that isn't homogenized not only tastes better, but keeps you from getting some sort of heart disease that I don't even remember...
Anyway, it's people like you that brighten the world, and for that alone I want to say thank you.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 8:53am

Hey man! Thanks for the highdea, it has made my long drive up to Jacksonville much better. Have a good day!

Sat, 03/30/2013 - 11:36pm

Highdeas like these are the reason I still go on this site, despite the begging for upvotes, and horrible "highdeas."
This made me feel, it made me think, it made me want to improve myself, and my life. I wasn't going to read this because it's so long, and I've been working on an assignment all night, but I'm so glad I did. The part about the dreams is so true. I often wake up happy, thinking "that was an amazing dream," but as the day goes on, it seems less amazing. I've never thought about that before.
But anyways, thanks for the awesome highdea, and making it worth it to keep viewing this site :)

Sun, 03/31/2013 - 7:15pm

Wow. This is gorgeous. I'm glad i didn't just skip over this because it looked long. I will think about this for a while. You put a lot of things in perspective, dude, and you got your priorities straight. I wish there were more people out there like you, man. Best of wishes.

Sun, 03/31/2013 - 8:07pm
inrainbows Says:
Sun, 03/31/2013 - 10:54pm
Jaeman Says:

The subconscious mind is the highly active at night. During the day, not so much. The subconscious mind is much more susceptible to the emotions you experience while you dream, because the conscious mind isn't there to judge your experiences. That's why when your subconscious wishes to dream about love, it dreams of love to the highest extent of its desire, free of boundaries. However, when you're awake, duality slips back in and you slip back into your thinking patterns that best suit you for THIS reality. Survival mode, you could call it. It's much more dull.

Allow yourself to break free from the mess of duality. 4th dimensional consciousness, research it.