They sit around all day shitting their pants and running around in the fields. Free Tubby custard on tap, in those dope ass bowls with the built in straws. If you drop your used condom on the floor, don't bend over and break the plasma screen in your abdomen, just let Nunu, the house bitch vacuum cleaner, clean that shit up, residue and all. And the only word they have to do in return is Facetime with some little kids every day through their iBelly 4's. Yep, what a life. Although....it seems a little too structured. They follow a very strict routine, and they are dispensed cubby tustard at specific times. It's kind of like a socialist dictatorship. They are all given an equal amout of flubby bustard, and no one cam exceed this amount, regardless of how many kickflips they do out on the grassy knolls, eliminates competition, therefore growth. Their activities are also on a tight schedule. Every morning they wake the fuck up (or get sodomized by Nunus optional hose attachment), and worship Sun baby, AKA SUPREME GRAND IMPERIAL WIZARD KING. The baby laughs like "hahaha, dance minions, dance and appease your God!" and so the Tubbies do all this trippy shit like run around in fields and such, idk. Sure its not really that entertaining but its a baby, not too hard to satisfy them. I think the Sun baby relies on mind controlling sedatives to keep them in check. Like in the beginning of the show, these sprinklers spray a liquid onto the fields where they play. It is believed to be a solution of battery acid, Ped Egg filings, and about 2% PCP. Also, the Teletubbie staple, dubbie combustard, is a mixture of two parts yak blood, one part meth to keep em coming back. One thing I can't wrap my head around is the TVs. What are those for? Are they perhaps trying to contact someone for help, but they can't dial properly because of their mitten hands, so they keep calling toddlers ny accident? Any thoughts guys?

Made popular on: 
Tue, 05/22/2012 - 4:14pm


Comments

 
Sat, 04/14/2012 - 8:29pm
Gizmodo Says:
 
 
Sat, 04/14/2012 - 8:46pm
 
 
Sat, 04/14/2012 - 10:16pm

Except for the part where they are pretty much lepers because their mom somehow through some satanic ritual became impregnated by a television and gave birth to four mutant telehumanisions that the government had no choice to cover up
That's right, conspiracy theory. That or this.
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/158/329/9189283.jpg

 
 
Tue, 05/22/2012 - 1:25am

teletubbies are with out a doubt the single most mutatated and mysterious mystery in history. so many theorys its hard to really know the truth. but i know we can all infer.... they are not exactly.... normal beings

 
 
Tue, 05/22/2012 - 2:33pm
 
 
Tue, 05/22/2012 - 10:17pm
Bruce_Lee Says:

Except they were canceled 10 years ago. They're dead.

 
 
Sat, 04/28/2012 - 7:12pm
 
 
Thu, 05/17/2012 - 7:07pm
Baked_Lays Says:

I will forever think of this when I see/hear something about the telletubbies

 
 
Sat, 05/19/2012 - 1:20pm

damn dude, this is a fantastic highdea. if i could upvote twice, i wouldn't because that wouldn't be fair, but i'm still gonna upvote this shit once.

 
 
Mon, 05/21/2012 - 10:15pm

Breaking news I have just discovered that Teletubbies sip lean habitually

 
 
Wed, 05/23/2012 - 2:09am
Mrstoney95 Says:

Promethazine laced custard. Damn that shits hard.

 
 
Tue, 05/22/2012 - 1:51pm
james311 Says:

... I dont know what to say but I do believe your on to something.

 
 
Tue, 05/22/2012 - 4:02pm

everybody on this site is on something.

 
 
Tue, 05/22/2012 - 5:36pm
lLoveMary Says:

he meant on to something....wait i see what you did

 
 
Tue, 05/22/2012 - 7:53pm

did this make anyone else really want some pudding?

 
 
Wed, 05/23/2012 - 4:29am
 
 
Thu, 05/24/2012 - 6:59pm
Mr_McDank Says:
 
 
Tue, 05/22/2012 - 7:54pm
ToastManDu Says:

Brilliant! That show makes so much more sense now!

 
 
Wed, 05/23/2012 - 1:27am
 
 
Sat, 05/26/2012 - 9:47pm
mjwied92 Says:
 
 
Thu, 07/19/2012 - 1:01am
 
 
Sat, 04/12/2014 - 12:26am

have you ever seen that kids show from taiwan or korea called boobah? Shit's fuel for a bad trip