It was a beautiful day outside. I was a young, sober high school student with a couple bucks looking for some cheap entertainment. Being underage, hookers were out of the questions. I text my friend if he wants to hang out and he says sure. When I pick him up from his house, he asked me if I wanted to partake in the act of smoking marijuana. I was curious of this substance and I had to try it. I've only smoked twice before and both times I've only taken a few hits.

We decide to go to a disc golf course, which still today is our local smoke spot. He pulls out and eighth and a bowl. He takes the first hit and coughs pretty hard. The bowl and lighter is now in my hand. I feel like I just got handed the Sword of 10,000 truths. I have no idea how to use it or what to even do. He walks me through the steps. I take my first hit, hold it in for a second and then cough like crazy.
[Fast forward until we've smoked all the weed in one sesh]

We get out of the car. My first steps onto the world as a high human being were critical. As I open the door and my feet touch the ground, I feel as if I'm an astronaut taking his first steps onto the moon. In my mind I hear "This is one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" or whatever the hell that quote goes like. I look around. Everything feels normal for a second. But then. Then. Then it hits me. IT. The high.

We decide to go play some frolf. First hole, I'm feelin pretty dece. I got a nice head high. I had to try super hard to keep my focus as I was distracted by everything. I think I threw my disc pretty shitty, can't really remember. All that I know is that we make it to the...SECOND HOLE. This is where the magic went down. We had to wait for a group in front of us to finish. Bored, I decide to look around at the magnificent world surrounding me. A patch of daisies catch my eye. I end up staring at the eye-popping yellow color for a while. Somehow, my body started walking circles around them while my mind was staring deep into the ground. I'm sure people were looking at me like I'm retarded so I decided to sit down. I rolled around in the grass for a little bit. My friend decides that it'd be a better idea to go back to the car. But first, he must purchase a hot dog from the mighty seller of the dogs that are hot. I'm standing in like next to him spacing out like crazy. I decide to just walk back to the car. It was a far journey to travel alone but heroes do what they must do. What they are born to do. I follow the path, passing by a couple of strangers. I say sup to them even though my head was completely down staring at the ground. I get to a giant tree and use that as a checkpoint. I look back to my friend. He's still buying a hot dog, chatting it up with the wiener salesman. I scream out his name and tell him to hurry up. He just looks at me then looks away. At this point, I'm scared out of my mind. I'm in an unknown place. Alas, 5 minutes later we make it to home base. The car.

I'm freaking out. I'm full of anxiety and I'm on the verge on tears. He tells me to settle down. I was too high for my own good. I never thought it was possible but I was proven wrong that day. 10 minutes later, I settle down. He tells me the hot dog guy called me a "faggot". My life is over. A guy that sells hot dogs for a living called me a faggot. I need to prove to him that he's wrong.

I decide we must go back to discing. We pass the hot dog guy. In my mind I wanted to call him out but I rushed passed him because I felt like I was going to soil my trousers. We play a few holes and I think I was doing alright. We get to hole that was surrounded by trees and had a lot of wood on the ground and tree bark. I stare at it for a while. Suddenly I see snakes. I start crying. My friend tells me to shut the fuck up. I do but in my mind, I was full of tears.

Next, we run into a warrior who seems to have misplaced a disc. High as fuck, I have no idea what he looked like or what he was even saying. Then all of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I spot the holy grail. His disc. It was beautiful. Colors of the whole rainbow gathered to have a tea party on it. I try to tell my friend quietly so we can go snag it but the kid overheard me. Curses.

A hole later, I make a pretty shitty throw. It was awful. I see my disc in some tall grass and I stare at something next to it for a second. It looked like a piece of wood. I examine it for a while until it moves. It jumped up. It was a frog. I let out a wild shriek and run away.

The rest...The rest? The rest is all a blur. For all I know, I browned out.

Made popular on: 
Sun, 08/05/2012 - 7:49pm


Comments

 
Fri, 07/06/2012 - 2:58pm
waters Says:

There's no worse feeling than being too high

 
 
Sat, 07/07/2012 - 3:54pm

I think you mean there's no better feeling*
And this story is straight up coconuts had me laughing my ass off from the start. Reminds me about my first time smokin and not having a clue how to act. Good shit

 
 
Wed, 08/01/2012 - 11:48pm
waters Says:

I mean like when you're new to plantlife and you get too high. I remember the first time I smoked out of a bong I was laughing at nothing and just started crying. Not like laughing so hard I cried I mean like bawling. Way too high my nigga.

 
 
Sun, 08/05/2012 - 1:40pm

my very first high was out of a foot and a half bong. i had never smoked out of one before and they told me to inhale hard.. so i did.. hard enough so all the smoke was condensed enough to be yellow haha.. so i inhaled and coughed for probably 5 minutes straight, then i sat down, and chilled.. i handled it like a beast

 
 
Wed, 08/08/2012 - 9:37am
Spanki Says:

i remember i thought it was laced the first time..but it wasnt lol i was just an idiot

 
 
Sun, 08/05/2012 - 10:00pm

obviously cheechmarin, you've never been to high.

 
 
Mon, 08/06/2012 - 12:56am
noize. Says:

the first time i tried space cakes..i spent an entire 2 hours thinking i no longer existed. worst feeling ever

 
 
Thu, 08/09/2012 - 12:51am

Man, I love that feeling. Like, this cant be real, it's all a dream, it's so far away... like transcending reality and time and existence.

 
 
Thu, 08/09/2012 - 3:58pm

weed is can be a hallucinagen to some.

 
 
Wed, 07/11/2012 - 9:12pm
 
 
Wed, 07/11/2012 - 9:53pm

Thanks a bunch man. I feel like when I'm in the zone, I can write really good but I don't really have any good stories to write about or even inspiration. And I suck at trying to make up stories. I can usually start them off well but I can never follow through. I'm going to try to start writing more though because I just love doing it.

 
 
Thu, 07/12/2012 - 3:18am

Maybe outlining your story first would help you follow through or help with plot development. Regardless keep doing what you're doing, I hope to see some more in the future

 
 
Mon, 08/06/2012 - 2:17am

I feel as though you and others like you, give the community that all of us who smoke weed are a part of the motivation to pay it forward with an act of kindness to others. I just want to say thank you, and to keep on doing good for the world

 
 
Wed, 07/18/2012 - 1:47pm
DopeLord Says:

The first time I smoked was in the 5th grade with my brother. I remember coughing up smoke for about a minute and a half... Good times. Anyway rad story! Keep it up.

 
 
Wed, 07/25/2012 - 11:33pm

dude that was funny as hell, nice writing too. my first time getting high was great, me and a few buddies had been lost out in the woods for like three hours straight, finally it got pitch dark so we just said fuck it and built a fire. then a few joints were passed around and after all that walking around and shit trying to figure out where we were it was the most relaxing thing ever

 
 
Tue, 07/31/2012 - 3:54pm

"My life is over. A guy that sells hot dogs for a living called me a faggot. I need to prove to him that he's wrong."

Easily the funniest thing I've read this year.

 
 
Mon, 08/06/2012 - 12:37am

I've let shit like that actually bother me whistl baked. Bein so high, that I allow the notion to be a possibility in my mind, and over analyze. Why would that hotdog man call me a faggot?? He doesn't know me!!

 
 
Sat, 08/04/2012 - 1:48am
Eugene420 Says:

that was an awesome story! you are really great at writing

 
 
Sat, 08/04/2012 - 7:18pm

The first time was the best. trippin, my brain a couple minutes back in time not synced with actual time, everything going fast, laughing my ass off.

 
 
Sun, 08/05/2012 - 7:42pm

Toke Toke please teach me the ways of making God Highdeas like yours. The one Highdea you have is 2 lines long and has 4 votes. How can I become as great as you, legend?

 
 
Sun, 08/05/2012 - 4:53pm

My first time getting high was at my highschool's football game with some straight purps out of a blunt... I literally thought that shit was gonna taste like grapes, that's how much of a noob I was haha. Walking to the game from the neighborhood across the street my legs felt like noodles but I felt fuckin great.. It was a rivalry game so there were hella people out... the game was intense as fuck too. After the game tho a lot of people from the game and the players from both schools went to Jack n the Box and man I just remember walking in and hearing this buzzing murmur of people talking. It was like I could all of their conversations seperately and at the same time it sounded like one sound. I Ordered some food then commenced to grubbin.

 
 
Sun, 08/05/2012 - 7:45pm

Haha I remember when I went to my first football game high too. I thought everyone on the field were fighting after every play. I really had no idea what was going on. There were some crazy drunk girls around me laying down under the bleachers and shit. I couldn't tell if I was just high or if they were just retarded.

 
 
Sun, 08/05/2012 - 6:21pm
 
 
Sun, 08/05/2012 - 7:46pm
boulderite Says:

quality writing coconuthead, loved reading it!

 
 
Sun, 08/05/2012 - 8:33pm
baked101 Says:

the first time i got high, i was at my cabin, my parents were downstairs and me and my buddy rich decided to smoke out of the window. I pulled out my ghetto homemade pipe loaded a bowl and stuck my body out the window while rich held pillows up to block the smoke from coming back in. we traded off and on, and soon enough i was fuckin baked. I remeber comin back out of the window with my eyes low and a half ass grin on my face and sayin "dude i think im fuckin high man, i think its working" haha i layed down in bed and felt like the cabin was tilting sideways as i was laughing my ass off and telling my buddy what i was feeling. Then came the munchies and i mean hard! i had no idea why i was so hungry, but i was. now, i didnt end up going downstairs to grab the honey nut bars i had my mind set on because my friend talked me out of it by sayin my parents would wake up, even though i felt like a ninja at the time. I was dissapointed, but i enjoyed my bed as well. Looking back now, my parents had to of heard the whole entire convo and everything because you can hear almost everything from their downstairs room. i hope they were fast asleep haha if not, it will be a funny story in about 20 years.
thanks for the read man! it brought back some good memories

 
 
Sun, 08/05/2012 - 9:35pm

The first time I was high I was at a buddies house just sittin around a fire with my two best friends. Me and my one friend smoked and my other buddy was hammed. I got so high i just remember staring at the fire, amazed at it, countless theories running through my head. All the while my drunk friend was rambling on about his ex girlfriend and i don't think i said a word to him. After aboit 2 hours of just staring we walked back to my house that was right down the road. I couldve sworn the road was getting longer as i walked so i sprinted all the way back to my house, where i then devoured 2 bags of chips and a leftover pizza with my friends. Most outrageous night looking back at it hahaha

 
 
Sun, 08/05/2012 - 9:42pm
radwavves Says:

"But first, he must purchase a hot dog from the mighty seller of the dogs that are hot" i don't know why i found this so funny hahaha

 
 
Sun, 08/05/2012 - 10:39pm
llcooljeff Says:

Your name makes me laugh dso damn much. Sober or high as fuck. Same with your pictures and stories. I love you coconuthead

 
 
Sun, 08/05/2012 - 11:59pm

Ahmm I remember my first time smoking. I never had that problem with not getting high the first time... In fact, none of my smoking buddies at the time had either. It wasn't until approximately a year later that I first heard someone say something about it. This leads me to believe that it is entirely a psychosomatic (self caused) issue. My first time smoking I got so high that I became unaware of the fact that I had stepped into a patch of stinging nettles. Good times. Also, I still get as high, or higher, as I did the first few times I smoked. Moderation is key.

 
 
Mon, 08/06/2012 - 12:55am

this is my type of comedic writing, and this much similar to the way i narrate my daily activities while high. first time i got high i smoked approx. 10 bowls throughout the night at a party in 9th grade of some orange kush. the party is a blur, i just remember laughing a lot and my dad picked me up at my high school cuz i was supposed to be at our schools football game and the stadium and parking lot were empty and he looked at me weird and asked why the fuck was everyone gone already and why i didnt tell him the game ended earlier, idk how i got away with it

 
 
Mon, 08/06/2012 - 1:14am

Where are you from that you can get a prostitute legally once you reach a certain age?

 
 
Mon, 08/06/2012 - 3:52am
baked101 Says:

they're called escorts. and they will fuck you for money. seen it happen. and he never said it was legal.. he just stated he was of age yet. (escorts probabably wont fuck you if you are 15) and he smoked pot, which is also illegal.

 
 
Mon, 08/06/2012 - 1:27pm

Yeah it's just the way he made it sound. But great story.

 
 
Mon, 08/06/2012 - 3:32pm
MROK90 Says:

as long as you have a camera to film it, it's legal no matter what :) it's illegal to bang a hooker. but its legal if your filming it, because technically your making porn.

 
 
Mon, 08/06/2012 - 2:02am
Bowar Says:

My first time getting high was at a concert for this amazing jam band called Umphrey's McGee that's kind of popular in the Midwest. It was at a really sketchy venue in Milwaukee and I smoked A LOT. During the set break this couple gave me the last bit of this blunt. After sitting down for a few minutes I all of a sudden starting seeing everything in pink and purple. I have no idea what the fuck was in that blunt but it fucked me up to the point where I was unable to respond to people when they were asking me if I was okay. My friend had to drag me out of the crowd. What also makes place really shitty is that it's run by greedy assholes that will even charge for you a cup of water. I really needed water but had no money so I just had to get a cup of ice.

 
 
Mon, 08/06/2012 - 1:16pm
muchines. Says:

It's been said, but you're an insane writer.

First time I smoked weed, I didn't get high. BUT, the second time, I got so baked I can't even believe, ahah. A friend&I decided to smoke some ganja (this being her first time smoking weed). The weed was awesome- good ol' Canadian BC bud, I wish I could smoke/find this shit more often. Anyways, we got settled on the porch on the side of my house&started toking using our weapon of choice, the pop can
-_- lol. At one point I started laughing my ass of about everything. I tried taking another toke, but I was laughing way too hard; I actually dropped the can and the cherried weed fuckin burnt my blanket&to this day there's a hole on an old blanket of my parents'.
Anywho, my friend got kinda panaroid/weirded out, cause she wasn't getting high and I was rolling around on the blanket laughing hysterically. So, she called up her older sister and started saying "I can't feel anything and shes laughing like crazy,like going insane"
in this really worried voice. Her sis calmed her down, so we started hanging out&shit.
Almost right away, we went to mcdonalds- we were 13,no car, the walk was about half an hour, and so we set off. The walk there was hella fun cause I was so baked, but the walk back was the longest walk of my life, lmao.
It was really fun and it's crazy looking back at that where it took me 2 tokes to get high out of my mind, and when it was such a big deal('cause its illegal, blah blah blah) to now where I toke multiple times daily&sweet mary jane is jut a part of my life,hahah. =)

Again mang , sweet story, it's hysterical, I dig it.

 
 
Mon, 08/06/2012 - 2:44pm

yeah man i remember the first time i got that high, i just couldnt stop looking at my hands, my vision was like shifted down and to the left. and i went pee and kept getting the sensation of peeing for several moments after.

 
 
Mon, 08/06/2012 - 3:31pm
MROK90 Says:

I've smoked so much in the past, I can't really remember the first time I tried it. it's kinda like remembering the first bowl of cereal you had.

 
 
Mon, 08/06/2012 - 5:15pm

How are hookers out of the question cause you were underage? What they do isn't exactly legal so they aren't gonna ask for ID.

 
 
Tue, 08/07/2012 - 11:06am
niiva Says:

the first time i got high i was spending the night at my friends house with her and her friend.i remember smoking a couple bowls. and sitting on her bed looking at everything around me like i was seeing something with a different set of eyes. her room is a major stoner palace. has the light dimed so light doesnt hurt them. has the t.v. connected to the x-box so when you play music its that trippy lightshow thats on the computer when you play music. and on the wall a mural of random pictures you can sit and zone out on for forever. i remember we were listening to ICP and i sat and zoned out on the t.v. screen for i dont know how long. her friend chris was zoning out looking at the same thing. i only know this because he jumped up and said in a scared voice "the light gods are mad at me!" to this day we still call that time the ' age of the light gods'

 
 
Tue, 08/07/2012 - 4:43pm

I feel like everyone's first time high was like this. Where they become border line retarded but when you look back on it its hilarious. Props to you man

 
 
Sun, 10/21/2012 - 1:33am