It starts in much the same way a wave does. The water is going about its day, minding its own business, when out of nowhere really, a gentle breeze kisses just the slightest edge of the water. No big deal, thinks the water, all it has done is created some ripples. But before you know it, the wind now has something to hold onto, when before it was fighting the even, calm surface of the water. It takes the smallest of ripples, and pulls it along with an ever increasing grip. Before you can even begin to comprehend it, the wind has now turned calm into sheer madness, a wave that wont be stopped until it comes crashing down on something.

The wind is anger, you are the water, and the wave is your emotions. No one wants to be angry, but the anger must be fed, and the more it holds on to you, the more you feed it. Sometimes you control it, and it subsides, much like a ripple across a pond. But sometimes, it grasps a hold of everything that is you and soon you too will come crashing down upon something that probably doesnt deserve it.

I've bowed down to anger many of times, let it have all that is me. Ive basked in its pity, as it whispers into my ear, "the world hates you, only I understand you." Ive punched walls and given anger its sweetest of candies; Pain. Pain is the beach that your wave comes crashing down on. You think the anger will go away, because you now sit on this beach with your pain; but you always seem to forget that a wave never comes as a single, and its friends follow closely behind. And soon the pain goes away, and the anger remains, dorment for a while but now stronger then ever.

I was driving down the road, letting the anger dwell inside of my brain, and eat away at it slowly. I couldn't handle it, the thoughts became so strong that I wanted to crash my car into anything, and give anger the pain forever and always. But I coudn't, I knew I couldnt. So I pulled over next to a farmers field. I got out of the car and screamed. But my breathe can guide a scream for only so long before you are out of breathe, and out of screams. So I ran. I didn't know where I was running, but I couldn't stand still, my feet needed to hit the ground harder, and faster, and harder. And faster.

I was mere moments away from utter collapse before I stopped running, and fell to the ground. I closed my eyes for moments that felt like eternity, and caught my breathe and told it to keep sucking the air it needed to calm itself to a crawling pace again. It was then I looked up and noticed the sunflower sitting next to me. It had witnessed the entire fiasco, it knew everything. But unlike the rest of the world, it did not judge me; it just sat there and stared. I stared at this sunflower for 10 minutes without thoughts. It was then I started understanding, that this sunflower understands the world much better then any of us, and damn well better then me. This sunflower sits here, day after day, night after night. It gets trampled on, but over time it straitens it self out. It gets cut in half. But over time, it grows itself anew. It gets blown and beaten into a pulp by a breeze, then a gust, then a wind, then a storm. But after the storm, it remains. After the storm, it looks upon the world and says, "Thank you for allowing me to survive. Thank you for giving my life, and thank you for giving me this day." The world doesnt care about this sunflower, but the earth cares and gives it a ground and soil to grow. The universe cares, so it turns the earth and gives it sunlight. No matter what the world thinks about this sunflower, it matters none; everything happens so this sunflower can live, and so this sunflower can grow. The sunflower knows nothing will come easy, later today there can be another storm coming, but it has patience to sit through it, and knowledge to know that tomorrow will be a brand new day.

I sat there for 2 hours with this sunflower, giving it my all. Nothing else mattered, and nothing else should. I can breathe and live and see this beautiful world. Yesterday, I was angry. And today? Well today is my day with a sunflower.

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Thu, 11/08/2012 - 8:32pm


Comments

 
Fri, 10/19/2012 - 9:32pm
 
 
Sun, 10/21/2012 - 11:57pm

Your posts generate a sense of oneness with the world that everyone should practice and embrace.

 
 
Wed, 10/24/2012 - 9:30pm

I had an eerily similar feeling today. My coworker and I were driving to work through some heavy fog, and I had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I wondered to myself why I had such a horrible feeling, this fog was beautiful. It was early in the morning so we had the road all to ourselves, this beautiful spectacle all to ourselves, and I just really appreciated all that had happened to make this fog for us.

 
 
Wed, 10/24/2012 - 10:05pm
yoinkie Says:

well said man. Its crazy to think how much attention you gave to that fog, when no one else in the world probably even knew that fog existed at that moment in that place. Its like the universe lined up for you two to meet. Same went for me and my sunflower.

 
 
Thu, 10/25/2012 - 9:40pm

I've been having things sort of like this happening quite frequently lately, where suddenly I just get smacked in the face by feeling so damn special to be able to drive places or eat good food. Now I'm just trying to figure out if this is God telling me I should be more grateful, my own brain finally realizing how good I have it, or simply me slowly losing my mind.

 
 
Thu, 11/08/2012 - 12:15pm

the last couple times i go walk out side to start heading to work instantly see something blocking me and i feel like the universe doesn't want me to go the other day someone parked a uhaul behind my car and today as soon as i walk outside i see huge piles of leaves and the leaf blower people in my way from leaving oh and then my car wouldn't even start what do you guys think

 
 
Thu, 11/08/2012 - 2:59pm
Honky_Kong Says:

I swear to god...I read the entire thing without ever having looked at who wrote it...and when I finished...I said to myself, "I bet yoinkie wrote this..."

 
 
Fri, 11/09/2012 - 12:31am

That was awesome. "The world doesnt care about this sunflower, but the earth cares and gives it a ground and soil to grow." I love that, too many people use no one giving a shit as an excuse to be mediocre. It's not about you. The universe conspired to get you here. What a waste of such an insane series of events that brought you here if you can't choose happiness.

 
 
Fri, 11/09/2012 - 3:04am

Fantastic. Reading this was something that I needed right now.

When I look up into the stars, knowing and yet not knowing at all how deep it goes, I can't help but let myself breathe. I feel the oneness. The anger subsides. The sorrows subside. The reminder that I'm here now rings clear for just a little bit longer. Sometimes we forget to look up though.

So thanks for reminding me.

 
 
Fri, 11/09/2012 - 1:19pm
mr_niceguy Says:

this ish brought a tear to my eye. living the tough easy life.....my will WILL be stronger than the sunflowers'.
great read, thanks.

 
 
Fri, 11/09/2012 - 4:26pm
DrTimothy Says:

Think and act like a tree. Grow up to be hard as fuck. Yet still be beautiful.

 
 
Sat, 11/10/2012 - 9:44am
BlackDogJK Says:
 
 
Mon, 11/12/2012 - 2:57am
adri1212 Says:

This is so great and lovely. Just what I needed, thank you.

 
 
Mon, 11/12/2012 - 5:32am

I needed this right now :)
I've had similar experiences, but mine usually end at the beach with the waves. I miss home, when I'm just 20 minutes from the edge of Earth. I don't like to go when there are other people, so I go at night. I like to just drive out there, miles down the sand until there is not a soul in sight. I lay out on a blanket and stare at the stars. I just let them twinkle and tell me a story for hours and hours. Stars are my sunflowers.

 
 
Sun, 11/18/2012 - 12:58am
FourSight Says:

The beach is my refuge too. During the summer when I was feeling lonely at night, I would put headphones in, get on my motorcycle and ride out speeding through the country to this lake where I just sat at the edge and gazed at the stars.

 
 
Tue, 11/13/2012 - 4:19pm
xSeraKatx Says:

Holy shit, that was good. I am actually thinking about writing a poem now.
I love how it was so soft and warm in the beginning but then it increasingly got harsh and scary. I love it.