I've spent a couple days thinking of what happened to me the other night. I've been trying to gather my thoughts, make sense of things, rationalize with myself, find out the other side of the story, and talk to my friends about this. I've been trying to figure out the best way to explain to you the eternity of hell that I experienced a couple of nights ago.

(click to read more... this may be long.)

Let me start off by telling you that by this point of the night I had been drinking a bit with a few friends. I was back in town from college during Thanksgiving break and me and the girls were out drinking, dancing and having a good time. We got invited to a friend's house party and were there for a while when the people who came with us decided they were going to leave, but me and my best friend, Lindsey, decided to stay there and keep hanging out.

Now when I say best friend, I mean it. Her and I are always on the same level. I can talk to her about anything. I feel like we should have been sisters. I would do anything for her and I know she would do the same for me.

But, anyways, we were there when someone said they had some fake we could smoke. I only smoke natural now, but the kind they had, I had tried before so I didn't think anything of it. We went out to the garage to a small room that had some coolers to sit on. So it was me and Lindsey, the guy with the fake, and two other guys just came out with us so they could smoke a cig outside. Now I've smoked this fake before, but not out of a bong so this hit was MUCH larger than any hit I have had of it before. I took a huge rip, held it in, blew it out and that's when everything went irrational.

I'm looking at Lindsey and she's talking so fast that I can't understand her. But at the same time it seems like she's not finishing her sentences and is changing the subject constantly. I can't figure out if she's fucked up and not making sense or if I'm fucked up and can't make sense of her.

Now I realize that I don't see anyone else in the room with me except Lindsey. I can hear everyone's voices but I can barely make out words. I see her as if she's kind of far away, looking at me with a concerned look. She's talking to me, but I can't answer. I feel like we're in a whole different place. She seems kind of upset and I started feeling like she was talking for me. I had no control over my body and could only just sit there.

I see her talking to someone else but I don't know who she is talking to. Now I'm starting to feel like I'm not even there and that no one is paying attention to me. I am watching from outside of my body and everything seems to be carrying on as if I'm not there. I feel like I'm trying to yell. I'm trying to get them to notice me. I want to be heard. I don't want to be stuck in this hell anymore. I can feel it encompassing my whole being and forcing me into a tiny sphere. I felt like the whole world was crumbling on top of me and forcing me into a deep pit full of darkness. I couldn't see anymore. Only hear.

Lindsey says that at this point it was just her and one other person in the room and that they were really worried about me. She said that I was staring at a wall with no expression on my face and I wouldn't focus my eyes on anything and that she was yelling in my face and I wouldn't respond.

This is because I was now trapped in my own personal hell. It was dark and loud. Supposedly my eyes were open, but I wasn't using them. I could hear words sharp and loud but the words seemed to be spoken so quickly that I couldn't make sense at the same time. Instead of listening to the words themselves, I was listening to each individual sound that your mouth makes to form a word. It seemed like they were talking forever. Nonstop. Every once in a while I could make out my name. I could no longer feel my body and I felt like I was in a different place.

I started thinking that I actually died and this is what it felt like. I would be stuck forever listening and never able to voice myself again. I'm scared. I felt if I really was dead, everyone would be disappointed in me for doing this to myself. I wanted it to be over but I was trapped. Everything was getting louder and now they are screaming at me. It's so loud I want to cover my ears and scream for them to stop, but I have no ears anymore. I'm just a soul able to hear but not move. I tried to separate myself from the noise to make it more bearable.

Lindsey says that now she is holding my head up for me because I wasn't anymore and she was going to help me lay down on the ground. She admitted that I fell quicker to the ground than she could catch me.

It helped me though. Because I actually felt it. I FELT something again. But just a stir. I was still trying to get away from the noise. It made me retract from the noise. And I could see something again. But only a color. I could see red. It was like closing your eyes outside on a sunny day and you can see the reddish color behind your eyelids. This was different. Maybe this hell wasn't the same forever, after all. But I still don't like it. It is starting to hurt a little. I can hear them talking still. Close, but not loud. Maybe they know that it's hurting me to yell. I want them to help me. I need to get out of here. I can't do it on my own and I don't know how to ask. I hope they notice. I hope they don't leave me here forever. I want to see again. I want to feel and breath and run with the wind.

I heard Lindsey say that she was going to slap me. I knew it. I knew it wouldn't be painless forever. I knew it was going to start hurting. Hell hurts, right? Hell burns and this is going to be the start. I braced myself, as much as a girl without a body could, not knowing what direction it would come from. Not knowing if I would feel it or how bad it would hurt.

I felt it. It stung. But I wasn't back. I still couldn't see. I am bound to this eternal pit of hell for the rest of eternity.

No. I won't be forced to stay here. I could FEEL again. That means I must be alive. I must be able to rationalize with myself and get out of here. Just try to get up. MOVE. And I did. And then I could see again. There was my beautiful best friend watching over me. She showed me that I could feel still. She stirred my soul back awake, and I was able to realize I could move again.

She says I was only out of it about 10 minutes. And then all of a sudden I just looked at her and said "can we go inside now? I'm so over this"

I wish I was as normal on the inside. I went outside and tried to explain that I wanted to stay outside in the fresh air, that I didn't want to go to hell again. They had no idea what I was talking about and took me inside.

I don't remember when I decided to wander off, but I refused to stay inside. I went in the front yard and layed in the grass so I could feel again. I could breathe the crisp, cold air. I could feel the cold grass. Nature comforted me and I feel asleep right there. Fully alive.

Made popular on: 
Fri, 12/23/2011 - 5:30am


Comments

 
Sat, 12/31/2011 - 5:26pm
 
 
Fri, 12/23/2011 - 6:04am
Baken Says:

Almost every time I drink and smoke I feel like im in a gravitron, I cant close my eyes, but I cant keep them fully open either. I kind of have to just daze off. Being outside helps a lot tho.

 
 
Fri, 12/23/2011 - 9:40am
 
 
Fri, 12/23/2011 - 2:39pm

No! And I'd love to see it if you do!

 
 
Fri, 12/23/2011 - 10:04am

dude i had to take my friend to the e.r on spice because he was seizing and foaming at the mouth. that legal shit blows

 
 
Fri, 12/23/2011 - 10:48am

When i was reading this i realized basically the same thing happened to me. It was indeed a trip to hell, that's definitely a good way to describe it. I also made a highdea about my trip if you'd like to read it. http://highdeas.com/hd/Why_i_will_never_smoke_spice_again_in_my_life_A_N...

 
 
Fri, 12/23/2011 - 12:09pm
slim8624 Says:

Holy Hell! The exact same thing happened to me. I was the only one smoking legal because i was trying to get a job, so we hotboxed a bathroom. When I stepped out the door, I fell straight onto the bed and I remember my eyesight going dim until I couldn't see anything at all. But I could hear, just like you said. They were saying shit like "What if he dies?" and "Should we call an ambulance?" Then everything that was black turned red. I just remembered thinking "please don't let this be how I die" When I woke up, They told me that I had turned white as snow and was sweating bullets. I seriously thought I had died and gone to hell too. that shit is FUCKEDD UP

 
 
Fri, 12/23/2011 - 1:27pm

Yeah legal is a totally different type of high, i've only tried it a couple times, and every time it's just discomforting and gives me a headache. Some friends of mine smoked it a lot when they were on probation and one friend would sometimes start seizing and another would just trip out and stare at nothing for like an hour. I always kept my grip on it, but in the long run, natural good ol herb is always best.

 
 
Fri, 12/23/2011 - 1:27pm

I smoke fake shit all the time and I understand what hes saying smoking it out of a bowl or bong gets you way more wasted than with a joint....... If your ever freaking out somewhat hardcore drink some water and try to focus on a video game or something

 
 
Fri, 12/23/2011 - 1:46pm

Hey man i like your picture, Big Lebowski ftw!

Smokey my friend, you mark that frame an 8 you're entering a world of pain. A world of pain.

 
 
Fri, 12/23/2011 - 2:15pm
 
 
Fri, 12/23/2011 - 3:03pm

Yeah I hate to tell you but there was most likely some Salvia extract in there because although very dramatic sounds rather similar to my trip when I smoked it from my bong. I thought the FBI was raiding my house and stealing my bong and plants its alright though i came back to reality soon enough. Stick weed its good for you.

 
 
Fri, 12/23/2011 - 3:52pm
rouse52794 Says:

That's crazy. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I've never had anything like that happen with fake shit, I tend to stay away from it and have only smoked it a few times cause I've heard bad shit about it, but I did have a similar experience with real weed one night. I was at my aunt's house and my one cousin was gone so I was chillin in her room smokin. I wanted a drink so I got up to go downstairs and as soon as I stood up I got this real bad head rush and felt faint and my knees got weak. I though I just stood up too fast so I sat back down for a few minutes and stood back up, only slower this time. I started to get a head rush again so I just said fuck it and tried to walk it off. I started walking to the door and the head rush got horrible. I lost sight, my knees got weak, I had this extremely loud ringing in my ears, and I collapsed. After I had layed on the floor for a few minutes the ringing subsided and my vision returned and I could see I was on my back, staring at the ceiling and could hear the TV, but I couldn't move. I could move my eyes and I could breathe, but other than that I was completely paralyzed. I was totally aware, but every time I tried to move something, it just felt like an immovable weight. To this day I have no idea how long I was out of it, but it felt like forever. Hands down the most terrifying thing I have ever experienced.

 
 
Fri, 12/23/2011 - 4:03pm
Opticz Says:

Reminded me of the song "Pain" by Three Days Grace.

 
 
Fri, 12/23/2011 - 4:23pm
carebear Says:

damn, that must've been painful. i know you were freaking out and all, but sometimes the best thing to do is let it go and relax a bit and it would've been less scary. sometimes i get like that when i sleep and i really can't do anything about it. i don't smoke that stuff. but whenever it happens i just relax and tell myself to think about something else and just breathe. it's your hell and everyone else has a different hell. i don't see why people are such assholes and say that there's only one hell, but i know for a fact that there's way more than one. trust me, it happens to me all the time.

 
 
Fri, 12/23/2011 - 4:24pm
BLOWdro Says:

hAMBERglar, you just described my first experience with K2 exactly! i HATE that shit.. i felt exactly like you did, so don't worry. But it really sucked for me because i was at my friends party in front of everyone when i did it, i hit it out of a bong too. When i finally came to i was just melted in the same chair i was in when i first hit it with everyone at the party surrounding me in a big circle and laughing. it sucked... I'm pretty sure i just stood up, looked at everyone with a blank fuck-you expression on my face, then left the party and went home lol

 
 
Fri, 12/23/2011 - 5:06pm
Mcgolfland Says:

during the initial part of the story you said that you wanted to scream but couldn't, this could have been a subconscious emotion, forcefully brought up from the legal.? same with the rest of the experience. don't discredit it because you were intoxicated, but try to find deep meaning, see what your subconscious is screaming at you.

 
 
Fri, 12/23/2011 - 6:20pm
 
 
Fri, 12/23/2011 - 9:20pm
MaximumD Says:

I had a pretty similar experience on the fake stuff before. That's why I stopped smoking it. That stuff is a nightmare and I've learned so many terrible things about it since I've stopped smoking it.

Don't believe the lie people tell you guys. It IS NOT "just like pot". It's a completely different drug. It gives you a "kind of stoned" feeling in small enough doses but if you really pay attention you can tell the difference. In large enough doses it's a fucking nightmare. I thought I was gonna die the night I took that massive bong rip but I somehow managed to remain cool and keep myself calm (bongs seem to be the common thread in overdosing on this stuff). I honestly feel that if I had allowed myself to panic I may have actually died. No matter how high I've been on pot I've never had reason to fear for my life. The fake stuff kills people.

Furthermore it's physically addictive. My friends have all had a hard time quitting it and suffered from physical withdrawel symptoms including nausea, headaches, and the shakes.

I've got a lot of friends who stopped smoking it for various reasons.

One started having chest pains and even had a mini heart attack when he was high. He's 19. He finally quit after that after failing to quit for several months.

Another friend had a seizure when he smoked it and hasn't touched it since. He admitted to me when he was still in the habit before his seizure that he was an addict, knew it, but had no intention of giving up his addiction.

Yet another friend stopped smoking after the tips of his fingers and toes started to go numb. They would be numb even when he was sober. He stopped smoking it and cleaned his system out and now he has feeling back.

I'd upvote this 100 times if I could because this needs to be on the popular section. People have to start realizing how insidious smoking incense can be. If pot is a gift of the mother earth the fake stuff was given to us from satan himself to trick well-meaning and naive stoners into killing themselves smoking something that is absolutely harmful to them. The devil that brings us the incense lies to us and tells us that it's "just like pot". He then promises us that we can pass pee tests and won't get in legal trouble for smoking it (although states are starting to making it illegal and in my state the consequences for being caught with it are worse than pot). All of this seems to promising that we don't think twice about taking up the habit.

It only took me a month of smoking it to realize it was utter garbage. I wasn't a heavy enough user to develop a serious addiction to it. I'm really glad I quit when I did.

 
 
Fri, 12/23/2011 - 10:58pm

ThiS is my all time favorite hands down best highdea I've ever read I can relate to the friend who helped u through helped you feel WOW. Girl it's like you explained a night I've been trying to find the words to describe a night I had in hell. Can I like add you as a friend on this shit? I'm new to highdeas and now I'm a huge fan. You just made my night and I bet your a fuckin awesome girl all around. And you smoke herb, can I say I wish we were friends?! Haha. Thanks for posting this girl!! Seriously

 
 
Sat, 12/24/2011 - 12:19am

damn.exactly what happened when i smoked NOLA DIAOMANd out of a bong.Fuck legal herb most Evil thing created by man. to me anyways..You explained that perfect, anytime i try i cant put it into words as well as you did!thank you defanetly going to remember this next time someone offers me ''legal''.
btw longest highdea i have ever read.

 
 
Sat, 12/24/2011 - 1:10am

sounds like you had a bad trip from spice

 
 
Sat, 12/24/2011 - 2:52am

wow you should write a book, this is so good, i actually felt like i was you while i was reading that

 
 
Sat, 12/24/2011 - 5:41am

Yea me too man, I was so high when I read her highdea too it like took me back bro, I'm so high right now still that shit was good it was as if I felt everything she felt, and i like relived MY night from hell as well -> I had a similar experience <- i love how she wanted to lay in the grass after it was all over!! Me too dude! feeling free from the bondage of whatever it was.. a "bad trip" ..an overdose.. Whatever it was I'm sure as hell I felt the same way laying on the grass with a sense of humility and peaceful release ..

 
 
Sat, 12/24/2011 - 5:51am

it's like we weren't ready for it but it was happening l so quickly u couldnt stop it you have to get thru it. And once u did it's hard to describe that feeling. I didn't talk for two days after it happened to me.. I was just.. i didnt know what to say or whT to make of it , couldn't fathom why or how I reacted the way I did I never felt that way before it was like the only time in my life I was truly scared

 
 
Sat, 12/24/2011 - 7:37am

u was CROSS FADED! BUT LUCKILY I HAVENT HAD SLEEP PARALYSIS. or maybe if this counts i was 12 years old nd im mexican/Cuban nd in mexico theres this crazy story about "LA LLORONA" ( IN ENGLISH ITS CALLED THE WAILER.) nd i just remember tht she was next to my bunk bed looking at me crying. i tried moving but i cudnt so i just laid there crying the whole night i felt helpless. i tried tellin my mom the nxt day. but she said it was a bad dream. but i kno it wasnt a dream. i was awake all nite crying but i felt like i was crying loud enuff tht ppl wud here. nd this was wen me nd my sisters shared a room. nd i tried explaining it to them. nd they said they didnt hear nothing. i was so startled by the situation tht it was hard to beleive things n e more

 
 
Sat, 12/24/2011 - 6:55pm

that happened to me when I smoked spice back when it was all chemicals...

I hit spice about 5 times, i was already drunk, then i felt tremors moving all around my body, I thought bugs where in my body it was scary

 
 
Sun, 12/25/2011 - 1:00am

this happened to me before in mt friends basment, i truned pale and white and i couldnt move, but it was on real shit. my friend had to carry me upstairs to the couch

 
 
Sun, 12/25/2011 - 1:20am

what "fake" was it? Sounds like salvia...

 
 
Sat, 12/31/2011 - 5:29pm

It was the brand "kush"
edit: apparently it was a new kind of purple kush that had a new ingredient. never again.

 
 
Thu, 12/29/2011 - 12:03am

i had 2 scary experiences one wasnt as bad as the other but both freaked me out. Im gonna start with the less scary one which was when i smoked happy hour which is a brand of legal where i live it aws my first time smoking it and i took a big bowl hit and held it in like my friend told me to. my left leg went numb which was cool i didnt really mind it but then when my friend had said something funny i bursted out in laughter and it gradually grew louder and harder i was laughing at the top of my lungs i was screeming basicaly but laughing and now matter how hard i tried to stop i was physically unable to i was laughing for 5 minutes. im not exagerating, i knew i was gonna stop eventually but the fact tht i couldnt make my self stop no mattter how hard i tired scared me. then i just stopped on a dime no chuckling or anything just stopped and bugged i threw the lighter and said im done it wasnt tht scary as weird as it was..
now my second one i will never do again, i was robo tripping and if u dnt know hwat that is it is when u drink cough syrup to trip, now i have never done this before so i drank 2 small bottles equal to 720mg. i also had a couple swis of lean. about an hour after it started to hit and i was feeling weird and wanted to go to the store to see what it was like while i was feeling like this s me and my friend started to walk t the store we get not even half way and i said to him dude this isnt going to work i cant walk. it felt like i was walking on a water bed while to earth wastilting back and forth. so we headed back to his shed on the was in the grass looked like it grew 6 feet in less then 10 minutes and his shed started to breathe(and what i mean is it started to grow and comeback down like ur chest does) as it turned purple and blue it was cool at first. so were sitting in hisshed listening to music jammin and i couldnt get over the fact tht the shed was breathing so i went back in side to chill and watch ttv.. i was only inside for about 5 min then i had to go back outside and sit on his proch bc i was to hot, you could feel the heat commin off of my skin. now when i was sitting the my facewent numb, then my chest and arms then the rest of my body i coulndt feel anything so i started to punch my slef bugging out sayin to my friend im having a stroke and a heart attck i was extruemily scared he tried to calm me out saying tht it was only a bad trip and it will be over and tht im fine now need to be scared. this went on for 4-5 hours i almost had him take me to the hospital and call my parents to tell them that i love them and was sorry for doing this to my slf. i waspunching my arms and legs as hard as i could but couldnt feel 1 thing i was scared to the point i almost started to cry and i just thought i was dying right there and couldnt do anything about it.my friends girl brought me out water i couldnt drint in myslef bc i could move my head from looking at the ground or my head felt a way i cant describe my legs were also shkaing really bad and coulndt stop them. finnaly i was ale to move and go upstair and pass out i was still tripping at the point but felt better when i woke up in the morning i was hoping it was a dream but knoew it wasnt bc of the way my head felt...not as bad as yours but still scareed the shit outta me and i will never robotrip again

 
 
Thu, 12/29/2011 - 8:03pm

I had a similar expierence after smoking a bong in the woods with a couple of my guy friends. I was okay for 15 minutes but then everything just got so messed up. I had to walk home and my friend, Josh, said I was just standing in the middle of the road but I remember screaming at him and then crying and then screaming again and then I started laughing, it was horrible.

 
 
Mon, 01/02/2012 - 12:51am
mar-leah Says:

Something kinda like this happened to me... It was real weed and me and 2 other friends loaded a fat bowl into a bong. I rarely ever smoked out of a bong and never smoked out of one again after this. I took only one huge hit, caughed for a good 2 minutes and let them smoke the rest. About three minutes after my hit I started like "seeing" sound waves. I litterally thought I was seeing waves of sound. The waves were purple. It was then that I though maybe the bong had something other then weed in it before maybe salvia. We decided to go meet up with someone to smoke more, at this point I wasnt very scared. It was summer so it was pretty bright out we were sitting outside smoking outta the bong. It just started getting brighter and brighter it felt like, till the point where it was so bright I could only see the outlines of people in DARK black. almost as if was a dream or a hallucination. Just so unreal. I remember them asking if I was okay but it took soo long to comprehend them asking me. I finally had one of my friends walk me back to the car so I could lay down. After laying there for 20 minutes it felt like, everything started to become normal. Still some scary shit, and isnt as bad as your trip. I could even imagine, Im pretty sure salvia or something else was used in that bong before or maybe the weed was laced? Who knows all I know is Im glad I never had to go through that again. feels so unreal.

 
 
Wed, 01/11/2012 - 1:34am
Destiny13 Says:

I did salvia once. Saw red and white stripes, and nothing else. Except fence posts that represented bodies. Each one of them were already filled with a soul, and I thought I was bound to be body-less forever.
I thought I was invisible, and nothing more than a consciousness.
My friends watching me said I walked around corners and stepped over things, that I never saw. I was totally in another world of red and white stripes.
They said I walked in circles with eyes really wide, and breathing really deep and slow.
Freaked me out. Then I walked into my boyfriend's knee who was sitting on the ground, and woke up. I said "Justin? Is that you?"
Very grateful to be back.

My experience wasn't as scary as your's though, that's for sure.

 
 
Sat, 04/14/2012 - 11:37pm
ashleymg Says:

i smoke spice a lot and this has never happened to me. but then again i only take a hit or to at a time, because it sneaks up on you. i take a hit, wait four or five minutes and keep doing that until i'm high.

 
 
Tue, 01/08/2013 - 10:54pm
WIRED Says:

i fell into an andorphin induced coma