Submitted by CheechMarin. on Sun, 06/10/2012 - 2:29pm
Considering my age. A man for the millennia. Digital and cigarette free. I'm a diversified multicultural post modern deconstructionist politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect being.
I've been uplinked and downloaded. I've been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside to downsizing, and I know the downside to upgrading. I'm a high tech low life. Cutting edge state of the art bi-coastal multi tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. I'm new wave but I'm old school. My inner child is outward bound. I'm a hotwired heat seaking dealing warm hearted cool customer voice activated and biodegradable. I interface with my database and my database is in cyberspace. So I'm interactive and user friendly. I'm hyperactive and from time to time I get radioactive. Behind the eight ball ahead of the curve riding the wave dodging the bullet pushing the envelope. I'm on point on task on message and off drugs. I have no need for coke and speed. I got no urge to binge nor purge. Mary Jane is my past, future, and present like a gift from Santa clause. I'm in the moment on the edge over the top but always under the radar. A high concept low profile medium ranged ballistic missionary. A street wise smart a bomb. A top gun bottom feeder. I take power naps and victory laps. I'm a totally upbeat big foot slam dunkin' rain maker with a pro active outreach. A ragin workaholic and a workin rage aholic. Out of rehab and completely in denial. I got a personal trainer, personal shopper, personal assistant, and a personal agenda. You can't shut me up and you can't dumb me down.
I'm tireless and also wireless. I'm an alpha male at heart currently on beta blockers. I'm a non believer over achiever. Laid back but fashion forward. Upfront down home low rent high maintenance. Super fast long lasting high definition fast acting oven ready and built to last. I'm a hands on foot loose knee jerk head case. Prematurely post traumatic and I have a love child who sends me hate mail. But I'm feeling and caring, healing and sharing. A supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver. My output is down but my income is up. I take a short position on a long bond. My revenue stream has its own cash flow. I have junk mail I eat junk food and buy junk bonds, I watch excellent sports. I'm gender specific capital intensive user friendly and I'm also lactose intolerant. I like rough sex, I like tough love. I use the F word in my emails. And the software in my hard drive is hardcore no soft core porn. I bought a microwave at a mini mall and I bought a mini van at a megastore. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I'm toll free bite sized ready to wear and come in all sizes. I'm a fully equipped hospital approved clinically tested medical miracle. I've been pre wrapped double bagged and I have an unlimited broad band connection. I'm a rude dude but the real deal. Lean mean cock locked and ready to rock. Rough tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow I go with the flow and I ride with the tide and there's sometimes a glide in my stride. I've been driving and spinning. I don't snooze so I never loose. I party hard and lunch time always means crunch time. I'm hangin in and there ain't no doubt. I'll always hang tough for you, OVER AND OUT.
Everything that I have said is true about me. But I wouldn't and couldn't feel right without acknowledging the original author. I had a buddy once by the name of George Carlin. He passed away a while back but his comedy acts and wacky persona still live in my heart. RIP