Considering my age. A man for the millennia. Digital and cigarette free. I'm a diversified multicultural post modern deconstructionist politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect being.

I've been uplinked and downloaded. I've been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside to downsizing, and I know the downside to upgrading. I'm a high tech low life. Cutting edge state of the art bi-coastal multi tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. I'm new wave but I'm old school. My inner child is outward bound. I'm a hotwired heat seaking dealing warm hearted cool customer voice activated and biodegradable. I interface with my database and my database is in cyberspace. So I'm interactive and user friendly. I'm hyperactive and from time to time I get radioactive. Behind the eight ball ahead of the curve riding the wave dodging the bullet pushing the envelope. I'm on point on task on message and off drugs. I have no need for coke and speed. I got no urge to binge nor purge. Mary Jane is my past, future, and present like a gift from Santa clause. I'm in the moment on the edge over the top but always under the radar. A high concept low profile medium ranged ballistic missionary. A street wise smart a bomb. A top gun bottom feeder. I take power naps and victory laps. I'm a totally upbeat big foot slam dunkin' rain maker with a pro active outreach. A ragin workaholic and a workin rage aholic. Out of rehab and completely in denial. I got a personal trainer, personal shopper, personal assistant, and a personal agenda. You can't shut me up and you can't dumb me down.

I'm tireless and also wireless. I'm an alpha male at heart currently on beta blockers. I'm a non believer over achiever. Laid back but fashion forward. Upfront down home low rent high maintenance. Super fast long lasting high definition fast acting oven ready and built to last. I'm a hands on foot loose knee jerk head case. Prematurely post traumatic and I have a love child who sends me hate mail. But I'm feeling and caring, healing and sharing. A supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver. My output is down but my income is up. I take a short position on a long bond. My revenue stream has its own cash flow. I have junk mail I eat junk food and buy junk bonds, I watch excellent sports. I'm gender specific capital intensive user friendly and I'm also lactose intolerant. I like rough sex, I like tough love. I use the F word in my emails. And the software in my hard drive is hardcore no soft core porn. I bought a microwave at a mini mall and I bought a mini van at a megastore. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I'm toll free bite sized ready to wear and come in all sizes. I'm a fully equipped hospital approved clinically tested medical miracle. I've been pre wrapped double bagged and I have an unlimited broad band connection. I'm a rude dude but the real deal. Lean mean cock locked and ready to rock. Rough tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow I go with the flow and I ride with the tide and there's sometimes a glide in my stride. I've been driving and spinning. I don't snooze so I never loose. I party hard and lunch time always means crunch time. I'm hangin in and there ain't no doubt. I'll always hang tough for you, OVER AND OUT. 

Everything that I have said is true about me. But I wouldn't and couldn't feel right without acknowledging the original author. I had a buddy once by the name of George Carlin. He passed away a while back but his comedy acts and wacky persona still live in my heart. RIP

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Wed, 08/08/2012 - 6:45pm


Tue, 08/07/2012 - 4:47pm
Tue, 08/07/2012 - 7:31pm

My bad. I didnt read the last part though.

Wed, 08/08/2012 - 12:16am
sopunika Says:

george carlin is my fucking hero. he was a genius and his comedy shows and quotes taught me a lot. rip man, next bowls for you

Wed, 08/08/2012 - 12:43pm
nurplette Says:
Wed, 08/08/2012 - 12:18am
sopunika Says:

i love how you changed smoke free to cigarette free, cause, well, this is highdeas lol

Wed, 08/08/2012 - 5:12pm

Haha yeah had to change it up a little. Never met anybody else who liked George as much as I did.

Thu, 09/13/2012 - 10:39pm

U still haven't its the internet dude lol

Wed, 08/08/2012 - 1:38am
Mary_Jim Says:

His name was George Carlin.His name was George Carlin! His name was George Carlin!!!

Wed, 08/08/2012 - 7:18pm

wait im sorry i didnt get that. what was his name?

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 1:11am
Dr.Hawking Says:

If this is a reference to fight club & robert paulson then i love you sir. Project mayhem fo lyfe <3

Thu, 08/09/2012 - 5:11pm

In death, a member of project mayhem has a name. His name was Robert Paulson.

Wed, 08/08/2012 - 2:24am

This seems like an appropriate moment to drop a song.

Wed, 08/08/2012 - 2:28am

And that's the song I'd drop. Great pic bro.

Wed, 08/08/2012 - 5:09am
Wed, 08/08/2012 - 8:38am

saw how long it was, said fuck it. read comments.

Wed, 08/08/2012 - 9:19am

I'm too lazy to read, so I'm just gonna go ahead and up vote

Wed, 08/08/2012 - 7:22pm
Crahnick Says:
Thu, 08/09/2012 - 10:28am
njstoner95 Says:
Mon, 08/27/2012 - 2:49am
Mary_Jim Says: