I promise to read every single highdea of anyone who posts a comment on this with a joke that makes me laugh.
Make me chuckle, guffaw, lose my breath, piss myself, whatever you can.
Bring it on.

Made popular on: 
Fri, 03/09/2012 - 11:58pm


Comments

 
Mon, 05/09/2011 - 12:25am
Mezmeralda Says:

A woman was complaining about how the "time of the month" made her hungry. "I have the munchies, so it must be hormonal," she said. This guy overhearing her said, "That's funny... usually when I have the munchies, it's home-grown-al."

[<3 Mars]

 
 
Wed, 02/22/2012 - 5:36am

how do u get a girl to fall for you?

trip her

 
 
Sat, 03/10/2012 - 12:44am
Bruce_Lee Says:

I once tried to fuck thunder, but Zeus banished me to earth.

 
 
Fri, 03/09/2012 - 10:46pm

why did the little kid drop his ice cream? because he got hit by a bus

so a duck walks into a bar and the bartender says what can i get you but the duck doesn't say anything cuz its a duck.

fleshlight

 
 
Sat, 03/10/2012 - 2:14am

ii was going to say a gay joke butt-fuckk it

Lol, I'm sorry you prolli already heard that one , but that's only because there's barely any gay jokes
They needa make more...cum on guys;)

 
 
Sat, 03/10/2012 - 3:11am
Elnicko Says:

I cum on guys all the time, the hard part is disposing of the bodies.

 
 
Sat, 03/10/2012 - 3:29pm

What's the worst part about a gay party?

The hotdogs taste like shit

how do you fit four gay guys on a barstool?

Flip it upside Down

 
 
Mon, 05/09/2011 - 12:25am

ok this is one of my favorite jokes, let's see if it translates well into writing, remember accents!:

Two German brothers -- Hanz and Franz -- are visiting New York City and meet a few people their age while they're sightseeing. The group invites them to a party they're having that night. The party's theme is "Emotions" and everyone is supposed to dress up as some emotion.

So Hanz and Franz agree to go to this party, and when the time comes they get a cab and go to the apartment. As they walk in the music grinds to a screeching halt and everyone in the room turns to look at them in complete amazement. Both Hanz and Franz are completely naked except Hanz has a stuffed bear over his crotch and Franz has a bowl of pudding over his.

Finally the host walks up to them and is like "Guys, what's going on? Hanz -- with the bear-- what are you supposed to be?"
And Hanz says "I'm deep in dis bear!"
"And you, Franz, with the pudding, what are you?"
And Franz says "I'm fucking dis custad!"

 
 
Mon, 05/09/2011 - 12:48am
 
 
Sat, 05/14/2011 - 12:13am
 
 
Sat, 05/14/2011 - 4:10pm
beadie Says:
 
 
Sat, 05/14/2011 - 6:32pm
 
 
Sat, 03/10/2012 - 2:01am
onlyBCbud Says:

didnt get it, maybe im just too fucked up, thank god for spell check ahahha

 
 
Sat, 03/10/2012 - 2:14am

Dude not gonna lie, it took me forever to read this blazed and I found out I definitely don't know how to do a German accent >_<

 
 
Mon, 05/16/2011 - 7:28am

my third favorite joke, haha:

Ok, so the 7 dwarfs visit the Pope, right? And when they get to the Vatican, Dopey walks up to the pope and he's like, "Mr. Pope, I have a question. Are there any dwarf nuns in Vatican City?" And the pope answers, "No, Dopey, there aren't."

At this point the 6 other dwarfs are beginning to chuckle. Dopey gives them a look and asks, "Ok, Mr. Pope. are there any dwarf nuns in all of Italy?" The Pope thinks for a minute and tells Dopey that he has to go ask a Bishop to be certain. So he leaves, comes back, and tells Dopey "No, Dopey, I'm sorry.. There are no dwarf nuns in all of Italy."

The 6 other dwarfs are really laughing now, and Dopey has to talk loudly over them. He asks the Pope, "Are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?" The Pope says "You know, Dopey, I'm not really sure. I have to check my book of All Things Pope." So he leaves for a couple of minutes, checks his Pope Book, and comes back. "I'm sorry, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the entire world."

So now the other dwarfs have collapsed to the ground in fits of hysterics. The Pope looks confused and asks Dopey what's happening. When Dopey refuses to answer, Doc steps forward and stifles his laughter for long enough to say

"Dopey fucked a penguin."

 
 
Mon, 05/16/2011 - 10:51pm
 
 
Fri, 03/09/2012 - 10:17pm

hahaha thats a goodin. Did any one else read that in a German accent?

 
 
Sat, 03/10/2012 - 5:27am
 
 
Thu, 10/27/2011 - 6:09pm
 
 
Sun, 02/12/2012 - 1:05pm
 
 
Sat, 02/18/2012 - 3:18am

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rbwII1POy-o/TyQWICq3uXI/AAAAAAAABy8/5MBNygyRxjs/s1600/meme-no.jpg

 
 
Mon, 02/20/2012 - 1:43pm
SaTans_Tit Says:
 
 
Thu, 03/08/2012 - 5:40am
MoLTReZ Says:

*You're ...
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you just checked

you mad ?

 
 
Fri, 03/09/2012 - 6:59pm
yoinkie Says:

your* is correct here, moltrez. "you are mom" is not

 
 
Sat, 03/10/2012 - 4:18am
MoLTReZ Says:
 
 
Fri, 03/23/2012 - 6:00am

that was the joke, btw have you already posted a sequel to the "how i created the universe" highdea, i really loved reading that

 
 
Fri, 03/23/2012 - 6:03am

that message was intended for joinky, i'm to high to do this

 
 
Fri, 03/23/2012 - 6:04am
 
 
Tue, 04/21/2015 - 2:20am
 
 
Sat, 03/10/2012 - 9:35am
 
 
Sat, 03/10/2012 - 2:19pm
 
 
Sun, 02/26/2012 - 5:53pm
bloodfilth Says:

What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
Well hung xD

 
 
Wed, 02/29/2012 - 4:00pm
LuluMorez Says:

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! What are you doing?"

The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they share a joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.

The lizard climbs down the tree, walks thru the jungle to the river and leans over the river to get his drink. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.

A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?"

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with a monkey in a tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says "Hey you!"

The Monkey looks down and says, "Duuuuuuuuuude.......how much water did you drink?!

 
 
Sat, 03/10/2012 - 3:06am

i signed in just to like this comment. fact.

 
 
Sat, 03/10/2012 - 5:47pm
 
 
Thu, 03/01/2012 - 4:49pm
KoalaBike Says:

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?
.....
....
getting raped by a giant scorpion in the shower

 
 
Thu, 03/08/2012 - 5:41am
MoLTReZ Says:

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/155/834/plz-stop-post.jpg?1311984584

 
 
Sat, 03/10/2012 - 1:22am
 
 
Thu, 03/01/2012 - 6:31pm

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender notices there's a ship wheel attached to the front of the pirates pants. The bartender asks him "Whats up with the wheel on your pants?" and the pirate then replies "Arrgh its drivin me nuts!!"

 
 
Tue, 03/06/2012 - 10:33pm
meowow Says:

Goats are like mushrooms
If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

 
 
Tue, 03/06/2012 - 11:15pm

A little boy invites his priest over for dinner, in which the main course is fish. The little boy says, "Man, these are good sonsabitches"! The priest looks at him with disbelief. He says, "no, father, that's the name of the fish". Priest says, "oh, well I guess that's okay. We should invite the bishop here next week". The next week the boy, the priest, and the bishop are having dinner and the priest says, "Aren't these the best sonsabitches you've ever tasted"? The bishop said, "My god, there's no need for that type of language"! Priest says, "No, that's the name of the fish, sonsabitches". Bishop says, "Oh, well that's okay then! We should invite the pope over here for next week"! So the next week the boy, the priest, the bishop, and the pope are sitting down having dinner. the priest says, "These are some good sonsabitches"! The bishop says, "I love these sonsabitches"! The pope silently looks at both of them for a moment an then says, "Ya know, you motherfuckers are alright"!

 
 
Fri, 11/07/2014 - 2:47pm

So two years after reading this joke I finally realized that you could have used any other person rather than a little boy.

 
 
Tue, 03/06/2012 - 11:26pm

A man walking down the street comes upon on vendor selling peaches, the vendor says, "hey man! I've got peaches that taste like anything you want"! The man says, "okay, how about peanut butter"? the vendor hands him a peach and he takes a bite. "Hey! this tastes like jelly, not peanut butter"! The vendor tells him to flip it. "Ah! well I'll be damned, it tastes like peanut butter! Don't suppose you've got one that tastes like chocolate ice cream do ya"? The vendor hands him a peach an he takes a bite. "Hey, this tastes like vanilla, not chocolate"! The vendor tells him, again, to flip it. "Well I'll be, it is chocolate"! Now the man's mind was beginning to get perverse, so he asks the vendor if he has a peach that tastes like pussy. the vendor hands him a peach and he takes a bite. He immediately spits it out and says, "ugh, that tasted like ass"! The vendor smiled and said, "Flip it".

 
 
Tue, 03/06/2012 - 11:30pm

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Amy Winehouse.

 
 
Wed, 03/07/2012 - 9:25pm
JK4711 Says:

Why does everyone hate the nosey pepper?

Hes always jalapeño business!

 
 
Thu, 03/08/2012 - 1:23am
Baked_Lays Says:

did you hear about KKKenieval? He tried to jump 20 "black people" with a steam roller

 
 
Thu, 03/08/2012 - 6:35am
 
 
Thu, 03/08/2012 - 2:59am
TheBunk420 Says:

The real joke is prohibition, my dear lad.

 
 
Thu, 03/08/2012 - 9:25am
SqueegeeLo Says:
 
 
Fri, 03/09/2012 - 1:42am

Shit after I posted mine I saw yours, off to edit mine