By Dana Larsen

GREEN BUDS AND HASH

Would you like green buds and hash?
- No I would not, Mister Stash!

Would you like them in a bong?
Would you like them all day long?

- No I would not in a bong!
- No I would not all day long!
- I do not like green buds and hash.
- I do not want them Mister Stash!

Would you like them wrapped in paper?
Will you try them now or later?

- I do not want them wrapped in paper.
- I don't want them now or later.
- I don't want them in a bong,
- I do not want them all day long.
- I do not like green buds and hash,
- I do not want them Mister Stash!

Would you like them in a joint?
- No I would not, what's the point?

Perhaps you would prefer a puff?
Just have one, that is enough.

- I won't partake, not of a puff,
- Nor a hoot, nor hit, nor huff!

Would you try a tiny toke?
- No I don't want any smoke!

What if they were vaporized?
- I've told you no a thousand times!

Would you, could you, in a cake?
Or in cookies I can bake?

- I do not want them in a cake,
- Or in cookies you could bake.
- I do not want them vaporized,
- Or other means you have devised.
- I do not wish to try a toke,
- Or otherwise inhale smoke.
- I won't participate in puffs,
- You have asked me quite enough!
- I get no joy from juicy joints,
- I really do not see the point.
- I do not want to use the bong,
- I think that buds and hash are wrong.

In a tincture would you take it?
I could show you how to make it.

- I do not want them in a tincture
- Or in any other mixture!
- I do not want green buds and hash,
- I do not want them Mister Stash!
- Why do you care if I try them?
- Will you profit if I buy them?

I offer buds and hash for free,
There is no benefit to me.
Someone said that that you were sick,
green buds and hash might do the trick.
If you find you're getting thinner,
With no appetite for dinner,
Or you suffer from sclerosis,
Epilepsy or neuroses,
For almost all the ills that ail ya,
buds and hash will never fail ya.
Have glaucoma? PMS?
Green buds and hash have much success.
For protection against strokes,
Its best to have some potent tokes.
If your muscles are not dandy,
Try some green bud infused candy.
For migraines, spasms, even cancer,
Green buds and hash provide the answer.
If you are not feeling right,
Then have green buds and hash tonight.

- It's true I am not feeling great,
- My health's been rather poor of late.
- My doctor says that I have ills,
- He told me I should take these pills.
- I cannot even sleep at night,
- I never do feel quite alright.
- I will try green buds and hash,
- I will try them Mister Stash!

Pffffffffffffff​t!​

- Hey now I am feeling good!
- They worked just like you said they would.
- I have never felt this fine!
- Green buds and hash are quite divine!
- I will bake a green bud brownie,
- Whenever I am feeling frowny.
- I will try them vaporized,
- That technique seems very wise.
- I will take them in a tincture,
- And in every other mixture.
- Perhaps I would prefer to puff,
- And stop when I have had enough.
- I will roll some massive joints,
- And smoke them down to little points.
- I will toke upon the bong,
- I will do it all day long.
- I really like green buds and hash,
- I do enjoy them Mister Stash!
- Thanks for being so insistent
- And for being so persistent.
- My mind and body are improved,
- My spirit also has been moved.
- Though I was told they are a sin,
- Green buds and hash are medicine.
- I'm sorry that I was so hateful,
- Now I know I should be grateful!
- Thank you, thank you, Mister Stash,
- Thank you for green buds and hash!

Made popular on: 
Mon, 11/02/2009 - 6:25pm


Comments

 
Sat, 07/31/2010 - 12:17am
 
 
Sun, 08/01/2010 - 3:12am
Twoplanker Says:
 
 
Tue, 08/03/2010 - 2:07pm

THATS THE INSPIRATION YOU WANT TO GET FROM SMOKIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THT WAS THE BEST SHIT DUDE BIG PROPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
 
Fri, 08/06/2010 - 2:36am

yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#$%#^@%%*&*#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)()()()()()(_+_+)(+_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
 
Mon, 08/09/2010 - 4:48am
Says Says:
 
 
Tue, 08/10/2010 - 9:04pm

If i was baked right now i woul cry this is so beautiful

 
 
Fri, 08/13/2010 - 10:01pm
oldpothead Says:
 
 
Sat, 08/14/2010 - 5:58am
 
 
Sat, 08/14/2010 - 11:14am

Dana, do you have an older brother named Keith?

 
 
Sat, 08/14/2010 - 4:31pm
bowler38 Says:

holy fucking shit. my mind has been fucked. that was awesome.

 
 
Sat, 08/14/2010 - 10:10pm
 
 
Sun, 08/15/2010 - 5:15am
retaahd Says:
 
 
Tue, 08/17/2010 - 3:40pm
weedgar Says:

Who is MY favorite aouthor?

bomchicawahwah

:D

 
 
Wed, 08/18/2010 - 2:16am

Hahaha. You are a badass

-I'm just here to fuck shit up.

 
 
Wed, 08/18/2010 - 10:43am

after i read the last line i said "oh my god"

 
 
Wed, 08/18/2010 - 5:47pm
Smokeherb Says:

HAHAHAHA!
champion poem,and if people get mad at me for breaking that weird chain that will obviously never truely get off the page

i dont give a FUCK!

~smoke weed~

 
 
Thu, 08/19/2010 - 2:17pm
Fearnovich Says:
 
 
Mon, 08/23/2010 - 6:35pm
Billnye2 Says:

THAT WAS SOO FUCKING AWESOME I FEEL SO SMART NOW THAT I HAVE READ THAT LIKE YOU KNOW THOSE things that people say that make you just feel like u turned retarded? well this is the exact opposite DR. SEUSS would definitely smoke a blunt with you just for that

 
 
Tue, 08/24/2010 - 1:59am

that was mothafucking redunkulous how you thought of this i have no idea but you obviously got the flamest nugs around

 
 
Tue, 08/24/2010 - 12:03pm
schmokem Says:
 
 
Tue, 08/24/2010 - 5:15pm
 
 
Fri, 08/27/2010 - 2:20pm
 
 
Sun, 08/29/2010 - 11:02pm

this is quite literally the most beautiful piece of poetry i have experienced

 
 
Thu, 09/02/2010 - 6:23pm

:').... so..... beautiful.....some one please make this into a song.........

 
 
Sat, 09/04/2010 - 11:03pm
JMoptop Says:
 
 
Mon, 09/06/2010 - 5:38pm

thats probably the best thing I have ever heard.

 
 
Tue, 09/07/2010 - 3:15pm
 
 
Wed, 09/08/2010 - 3:41pm

Dude u jus blew my fuckin mind. A lil long but worth the wait. Stoned_in_Africa

 
 
Wed, 09/08/2010 - 4:11pm
kbe Says:

ah man, this blows my mind every time I read it.

 
 
Thu, 09/09/2010 - 2:27pm

i would upvote it 1000 times if i could great job!

 
 
Mon, 09/13/2010 - 12:04pm
WIllyB4445 Says:
 
 
Fri, 09/24/2010 - 3:26pm
Mackray93 Says:

I read all of this shit for nothing.. wtf!

 
 
Sat, 09/25/2010 - 7:49pm

dude, just bravo to who wrote this, this is litterally fucking epicly amazing! next bowls to you my friend (:

 
 
Sun, 09/26/2010 - 2:28pm
Colbster Says:

that sounds like a poem ive heard before except its about eggs and ham. damn that sounds pretty good

 
 
Sun, 09/26/2010 - 6:18pm
nick15441 Says:
 
 
Mon, 09/27/2010 - 11:32am

i'm tryin to find the words to describe this without being disrespectful!!!

"Smokin blunts was a daily routine since 13..."

 
 
Tue, 09/28/2010 - 5:38am
EverStoned Says:

that was the most magical story ever told

 
 
Tue, 09/28/2010 - 10:18am
marksman34 Says:

WOW, Im gonna save this to my computer and keep it forever!

 
 
Tue, 09/28/2010 - 10:33am

make this into a book and ill buy 15 copies

 
 
Tue, 09/28/2010 - 11:24am
Zeus_ Says:

I cant even believe this. . . My mind is now fucked

 
 
Sat, 10/02/2010 - 9:24am
jawsssx93 Says:

YOU ARE AMAZING. And just earned my respect. And an upvote of about 20

 
 
Mon, 10/04/2010 - 12:56am
ralamurphy Says:

please make this into a book with illustrations and everything and sell it at urban outfitters

 
 
Sun, 10/10/2010 - 10:14am

That's the greatest thing I've ever read.when its legalized you should get dat shit published man!

 
 
Tue, 10/12/2010 - 4:48pm
Anoookie Says:

You are a god. Your HIGHDEA should have 2 numbers. It's always on top for all-time, with 420 as the number. Once you open it up, that's when you see how many it had

 
 
Tue, 10/12/2010 - 9:29pm
ganjapops Says:
 
 
Fri, 10/15/2010 - 12:41am
 
 
Fri, 10/15/2010 - 9:48am
Spartakizz Says:

Real nice poem a original of its own with that of a classic, makes me wanna smoke with Dr. Suess

 
 
Sun, 10/17/2010 - 12:48pm
 
 
Sun, 10/17/2010 - 5:41pm
jeffrey Says:
 
 
Tue, 10/19/2010 - 8:24pm
Kronnicc Says: