By Dana Larsen


Would you like green buds and hash?
- No I would not, Mister Stash!

Would you like them in a bong?
Would you like them all day long?

- No I would not in a bong!
- No I would not all day long!
- I do not like green buds and hash.
- I do not want them Mister Stash!

Would you like them wrapped in paper?
Will you try them now or later?

- I do not want them wrapped in paper.
- I don't want them now or later.
- I don't want them in a bong,
- I do not want them all day long.
- I do not like green buds and hash,
- I do not want them Mister Stash!

Would you like them in a joint?
- No I would not, what's the point?

Perhaps you would prefer a puff?
Just have one, that is enough.

- I won't partake, not of a puff,
- Nor a hoot, nor hit, nor huff!

Would you try a tiny toke?
- No I don't want any smoke!

What if they were vaporized?
- I've told you no a thousand times!

Would you, could you, in a cake?
Or in cookies I can bake?

- I do not want them in a cake,
- Or in cookies you could bake.
- I do not want them vaporized,
- Or other means you have devised.
- I do not wish to try a toke,
- Or otherwise inhale smoke.
- I won't participate in puffs,
- You have asked me quite enough!
- I get no joy from juicy joints,
- I really do not see the point.
- I do not want to use the bong,
- I think that buds and hash are wrong.

In a tincture would you take it?
I could show you how to make it.

- I do not want them in a tincture
- Or in any other mixture!
- I do not want green buds and hash,
- I do not want them Mister Stash!
- Why do you care if I try them?
- Will you profit if I buy them?

I offer buds and hash for free,
There is no benefit to me.
Someone said that that you were sick,
green buds and hash might do the trick.
If you find you're getting thinner,
With no appetite for dinner,
Or you suffer from sclerosis,
Epilepsy or neuroses,
For almost all the ills that ail ya,
buds and hash will never fail ya.
Have glaucoma? PMS?
Green buds and hash have much success.
For protection against strokes,
Its best to have some potent tokes.
If your muscles are not dandy,
Try some green bud infused candy.
For migraines, spasms, even cancer,
Green buds and hash provide the answer.
If you are not feeling right,
Then have green buds and hash tonight.

- It's true I am not feeling great,
- My health's been rather poor of late.
- My doctor says that I have ills,
- He told me I should take these pills.
- I cannot even sleep at night,
- I never do feel quite alright.
- I will try green buds and hash,
- I will try them Mister Stash!


- Hey now I am feeling good!
- They worked just like you said they would.
- I have never felt this fine!
- Green buds and hash are quite divine!
- I will bake a green bud brownie,
- Whenever I am feeling frowny.
- I will try them vaporized,
- That technique seems very wise.
- I will take them in a tincture,
- And in every other mixture.
- Perhaps I would prefer to puff,
- And stop when I have had enough.
- I will roll some massive joints,
- And smoke them down to little points.
- I will toke upon the bong,
- I will do it all day long.
- I really like green buds and hash,
- I do enjoy them Mister Stash!
- Thanks for being so insistent
- And for being so persistent.
- My mind and body are improved,
- My spirit also has been moved.
- Though I was told they are a sin,
- Green buds and hash are medicine.
- I'm sorry that I was so hateful,
- Now I know I should be grateful!
- Thank you, thank you, Mister Stash,
- Thank you for green buds and hash!

Made popular on: 
Mon, 11/02/2009 - 6:25pm


Sat, 05/01/2010 - 1:29pm
Smitty83 Says:
Mon, 05/03/2010 - 3:00pm
Fri, 05/07/2010 - 7:29pm
Sat, 05/08/2010 - 6:20pm
LlamaSquid Says:

This is the single most amazing piece of literature written.

Sun, 05/09/2010 - 12:06pm
gringo-man Says:
Mon, 05/10/2010 - 7:20pm
stud258 Says:
Fri, 05/14/2010 - 8:43pm
iBlunt93 Says:
Thu, 05/20/2010 - 6:06pm
highbutler Says:

That was great!

An you did it when you were high too!




Thu, 05/20/2010 - 8:44pm
negrodomus Says:
Thu, 05/20/2010 - 9:28pm
Fri, 05/21/2010 - 9:02am

that brought me back to the good ol days =]

Tue, 05/25/2010 - 1:58pm
Purps678 Says:
Fri, 05/28/2010 - 3:24pm
tjg1903 Says:

I have to say this is A fucking fantastic story.

Fri, 05/28/2010 - 10:56pm
Lit3Brit3 Says:

Wow... just wow. You've made our night, now we're rollin a blunt and REALLY enjoying this again :)

Ignorance is bliss...

Wed, 06/02/2010 - 11:13am
Thirsty_16 Says:
Wed, 06/02/2010 - 3:13pm
420Ginja Says:


Fri, 06/04/2010 - 2:21am
Krazy150 Says:

LOVE IT! YOU SHOULD BE FAMOUS FOR THAT!!! Hell the other guy did it.... : )Violet <333

Fri, 06/04/2010 - 5:40pm
binkker Says:
Fri, 06/04/2010 - 7:33pm
Pixies Says:

Next time one of my teachers asks me what my favorite poem is imma say "Green Buds and Hash"

Fri, 06/04/2010 - 10:29pm
Wed, 06/09/2010 - 3:13pm

woah, that should be a legit dr. suess book

Fri, 06/11/2010 - 1:59pm
Sun, 06/13/2010 - 2:45am
Big_B_Easy Says:

ha ha the first thing i thought, i actually said this outloud in my room was YESSSS! i scroll down and this dude is all like YESSS. lmao my thoughts exactly bro

Mon, 06/14/2010 - 10:59am
Tue, 06/15/2010 - 3:34pm
tictax Says:

as a last line from me to you

*that was fucking bad ass i now love green bud and hash!

Tue, 06/15/2010 - 6:08pm
Wed, 06/16/2010 - 4:49pm

Why dont they use this to teach us to read?

Sat, 06/19/2010 - 10:48pm
ako15 Says:
Sun, 06/20/2010 - 1:37pm
ilikepot7 Says:
Wed, 06/23/2010 - 3:22pm
Thu, 06/24/2010 - 9:11am
Sun, 06/27/2010 - 11:01pm
Yuph0ria Says:

oh my god! that was probably the best thing i have ever read!
its like highdeas is god and your jesus chris ;)

Tue, 06/29/2010 - 2:48am
Skater.Dan Says:

You blew my mind with this shit mannn hahah

Wed, 06/30/2010 - 10:50am
RunninChef Says:

i wish i wasnt so high so i could read all of that. i just skimmed and skimmed and skimmed again... and wished that i had that book in front of me

Thu, 07/01/2010 - 6:46am

Ahhh, such a nice poem by Dr. Soothe

~"yo lemme hit that right quick"

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 5:48am
Rukus Says:
Fri, 07/02/2010 - 2:53pm
cheyxcore Says:
Tue, 07/06/2010 - 2:35am
HBgirlsss Says:
Sat, 07/10/2010 - 2:17pm
JAKUS420 Says:

Beautiful and genuine...good work my friend....

Tue, 07/13/2010 - 4:58pm
tokker Says:

I didnt like mister stash when I was younger. But now I love him!

Fri, 07/16/2010 - 8:20pm
hkayl Says:

oh. my. god.
literally that was the most amazing thing i have ever read in my life. no joke. no lies. amazing. beautiful even. bloody brilliant. pure genius. even non stoners can appreciate that.

Sat, 07/17/2010 - 3:59pm
gimptoast Says:

That was amazing!!! bravo

**It Was So Quiet in There You Could Hear a Mouse Pissin On Cotton in China**

Sun, 07/18/2010 - 3:27pm
Helio-23 Says:

FUCK YEAH that was amazing. nice work

Tue, 07/20/2010 - 11:09pm
Yumcookies Says:


Wed, 07/21/2010 - 6:53pm
iMAC Says:

you dont even have to ask me twice
ill smoke with you mister stash
and not that bullshit black mamba spice
only the good weed and hash...........

ya i no i got skillz
imma rapper

Mon, 07/26/2010 - 7:24pm
SteezyZJT Says:
Wed, 07/28/2010 - 12:39am
StevieK315 Says:

Im going to make this into a book. Thank you for taking the 3 hours it probably took you to type all that, you're freakin insane!

Wed, 07/28/2010 - 1:44am

If I could, I would sit here and press that up button until it hit 1 million.

Wed, 07/28/2010 - 1:49am
Ellen Carley (not verified) Says:

that was seriously the coolest thing i have ever read.

Fri, 07/30/2010 - 4:45pm
sundaygang Says:

holy shit, that was amazing.

wake up in the morning smoke a big fat spliff!