Green buds and hash
By Dana Larsen
GREEN BUDS AND HASH
Would you like green buds and hash?
- No I would not, Mister Stash!
Would you like them in a bong?
Would you like them all day long?
- No I would not in a bong!
- No I would not all day long!
- I do not like green buds and hash.
- I do not want them Mister Stash!
Would you like them wrapped in paper?
Will you try them now or later?
- I do not want them wrapped in paper.
- I don't want them now or later.
- I don't want them in a bong,
- I do not want them all day long.
- I do not like green buds and hash,
- I do not want them Mister Stash!
Would you like them in a joint?
- No I would not, what's the point?
Perhaps you would prefer a puff?
Just have one, that is enough.
- I won't partake, not of a puff,
- Nor a hoot, nor hit, nor huff!
Would you try a tiny toke?
- No I don't want any smoke!
What if they were vaporized?
- I've told you no a thousand times!
Would you, could you, in a cake?
Or in cookies I can bake?
- I do not want them in a cake,
- Or in cookies you could bake.
- I do not want them vaporized,
- Or other means you have devised.
- I do not wish to try a toke,
- Or otherwise inhale smoke.
- I won't participate in puffs,
- You have asked me quite enough!
- I get no joy from juicy joints,
- I really do not see the point.
- I do not want to use the bong,
- I think that buds and hash are wrong.
In a tincture would you take it?
I could show you how to make it.
- I do not want them in a tincture
- Or in any other mixture!
- I do not want green buds and hash,
- I do not want them Mister Stash!
- Why do you care if I try them?
- Will you profit if I buy them?
I offer buds and hash for free,
There is no benefit to me.
Someone said that that you were sick,
green buds and hash might do the trick.
If you find you're getting thinner,
With no appetite for dinner,
Or you suffer from sclerosis,
Epilepsy or neuroses,
For almost all the ills that ail ya,
buds and hash will never fail ya.
Have glaucoma? PMS?
Green buds and hash have much success.
For protection against strokes,
Its best to have some potent tokes.
If your muscles are not dandy,
Try some green bud infused candy.
For migraines, spasms, even cancer,
Green buds and hash provide the answer.
If you are not feeling right,
Then have green buds and hash tonight.
- It's true I am not feeling great,
- My health's been rather poor of late.
- My doctor says that I have ills,
- He told me I should take these pills.
- I cannot even sleep at night,
- I never do feel quite alright.
- I will try green buds and hash,
- I will try them Mister Stash!
Pfffffffffffffft!
- Hey now I am feeling good!
- They worked just like you said they would.
- I have never felt this fine!
- Green buds and hash are quite divine!
- I will bake a green bud brownie,
- Whenever I am feeling frowny.
- I will try them vaporized,
- That technique seems very wise.
- I will take them in a tincture,
- And in every other mixture.
- Perhaps I would prefer to puff,
- And stop when I have had enough.
- I will roll some massive joints,
- And smoke them down to little points.
- I will toke upon the bong,
- I will do it all day long.
- I really like green buds and hash,
- I do enjoy them Mister Stash!
- Thanks for being so insistent
- And for being so persistent.
- My mind and body are improved,
- My spirit also has been moved.
- Though I was told they are a sin,
- Green buds and hash are medicine.
- I'm sorry that I was so hateful,
- Now I know I should be grateful!
- Thank you, thank you, Mister Stash,
- Thank you for green buds and hash!
Category: entertainment Tags:

holy shit that was awesome
"A" muther fuckin "plus" dude... a little long but tottaly worth the 3 mins to read it. thanks for blowing my mind
epic!
YESSSS!
YES!!!
In the fucking jugular man
i would read that as a bedtime story for my kids every night.
FUCK YES! VOTE UP! You should be commended. that was the best remake of Green Eggs & Ham EVER. funny thing, my name is sam....
Stoners Live and Stoners Die. In the End, We All Get High. So If in Life, You Don't Succeed... Fuck This Shit and Smoke Some Weed.
Me too! I want more of these! Actually I need more of these! YES!!!
thats awesome
daaaaaamn thats good shit
i bet that took a while man, ima musician an u got my up vote!!!
dude, you are god
perfect!
you just blew my fucking mind
That is pure genius. Publish that shit, stoner childrens book hey oh!
That is pure genius. Publish that shit, stoner childrens book hey oh!
Kudos man.
whoa...speechless
greatness, simply greatness lol
i give you seriousss props. good job, i love it :)
OMG FUCKIN AWESOME!!!!! KEEP TOKIN YOUR ON TO SOMETHIING !!!! SWED!!!!
best reading investment of my time ever
oh my fucking god... that was the greatest shit i have ever read, please tell me you came up with that yourself
amazing
I LOVE YOU
lol i love you. :)
this is amazing. hahaha shit
GOOD STUFF!!!!
Fucking brilliant, totally fucking brilliant,
holy shit
mind blown
nothing else to say
fuckin awesome man.
damn dude just wow
i think i just jizzed in my pants that was amazing! ill toke this!
awesome!
you just made my day fucking 1,000,000,000 times brighter! thank - fucking - you!
You, my good sir or madam, have earned yourself 2 BILLION POINTS. Dr. Suess has nothing on you.
you need to publish this in a high times magazine. i'd buy one every week if your shit was in there.
woah
i have a boner from reading this
bravo.
Stoner boner
i enjoyed reading every single word of that
(stands up and starts clapping)
im sorry i just dont have that kinda attention span
I Am Going To Buy A Baby Gorilla And Teach Him The Ways Of A Stoner
And By The Time I Get Home From Work He Will Have Rolled A Bunch Of Blunts
Straight Genius
:D Yes. Thank you for posting this.
i think i just read the best thing ever
weather or not dr suse is dead or not hes rolling in his grave
that made me very happy
well put
nice job! omg thats an awesome spin on a childhood classic! i love this site :D
dude
ohh my fucking god
you are a fucking god
how did you create that!