By Dana Larsen

GREEN BUDS AND HASH

Would you like green buds and hash?
- No I would not, Mister Stash!

Would you like them in a bong?
Would you like them all day long?

- No I would not in a bong!
- No I would not all day long!
- I do not like green buds and hash.
- I do not want them Mister Stash!

Would you like them wrapped in paper?
Will you try them now or later?

- I do not want them wrapped in paper.
- I don't want them now or later.
- I don't want them in a bong,
- I do not want them all day long.
- I do not like green buds and hash,
- I do not want them Mister Stash!

Would you like them in a joint?
- No I would not, what's the point?

Perhaps you would prefer a puff?
Just have one, that is enough.

- I won't partake, not of a puff,
- Nor a hoot, nor hit, nor huff!

Would you try a tiny toke?
- No I don't want any smoke!

What if they were vaporized?
- I've told you no a thousand times!

Would you, could you, in a cake?
Or in cookies I can bake?

- I do not want them in a cake,
- Or in cookies you could bake.
- I do not want them vaporized,
- Or other means you have devised.
- I do not wish to try a toke,
- Or otherwise inhale smoke.
- I won't participate in puffs,
- You have asked me quite enough!
- I get no joy from juicy joints,
- I really do not see the point.
- I do not want to use the bong,
- I think that buds and hash are wrong.

In a tincture would you take it?
I could show you how to make it.

- I do not want them in a tincture
- Or in any other mixture!
- I do not want green buds and hash,
- I do not want them Mister Stash!
- Why do you care if I try them?
- Will you profit if I buy them?

I offer buds and hash for free,
There is no benefit to me.
Someone said that that you were sick,
green buds and hash might do the trick.
If you find you're getting thinner,
With no appetite for dinner,
Or you suffer from sclerosis,
Epilepsy or neuroses,
For almost all the ills that ail ya,
buds and hash will never fail ya.
Have glaucoma? PMS?
Green buds and hash have much success.
For protection against strokes,
Its best to have some potent tokes.
If your muscles are not dandy,
Try some green bud infused candy.
For migraines, spasms, even cancer,
Green buds and hash provide the answer.
If you are not feeling right,
Then have green buds and hash tonight.

- It's true I am not feeling great,
- My health's been rather poor of late.
- My doctor says that I have ills,
- He told me I should take these pills.
- I cannot even sleep at night,
- I never do feel quite alright.
- I will try green buds and hash,
- I will try them Mister Stash!

Pffffffffffffff​t!​

- Hey now I am feeling good!
- They worked just like you said they would.
- I have never felt this fine!
- Green buds and hash are quite divine!
- I will bake a green bud brownie,
- Whenever I am feeling frowny.
- I will try them vaporized,
- That technique seems very wise.
- I will take them in a tincture,
- And in every other mixture.
- Perhaps I would prefer to puff,
- And stop when I have had enough.
- I will roll some massive joints,
- And smoke them down to little points.
- I will toke upon the bong,
- I will do it all day long.
- I really like green buds and hash,
- I do enjoy them Mister Stash!
- Thanks for being so insistent
- And for being so persistent.
- My mind and body are improved,
- My spirit also has been moved.
- Though I was told they are a sin,
- Green buds and hash are medicine.
- I'm sorry that I was so hateful,
- Now I know I should be grateful!
- Thank you, thank you, Mister Stash,
- Thank you for green buds and hash!

Made popular on: 
Mon, 11/02/2009 - 6:25pm


Comments

 
Mon, 11/02/2009 - 7:17pm
steezslc Says:
 
 
Wed, 06/15/2011 - 8:52am
65musdank Says:
 
 
Sat, 09/28/2013 - 12:53am

No fuckin way this dude was high when writing it.
I just spent 10 minutes trying to write this comment.

 
 
Mon, 11/02/2009 - 7:28pm
uhm...what Says:

"A" muther fuckin "plus" dude... a little long but tottaly worth the 3 mins to read it. thanks for blowing my mind

 
 
Sat, 07/03/2010 - 2:30pm

Dr. Seuss would be so honored. No doubt he'd understand the medicinal purposes.

 
 
Mon, 04/04/2011 - 11:57pm

You don't write books like Dr. Seuss did, without hittin' the blunt every now and then.

 
 
Mon, 05/23/2011 - 5:37pm

Amen to that. I can see it now: Green Eggs and Ham completely reanimated to this poem. That'd be awesome! A job very well done

 
 
Thu, 07/07/2011 - 12:24am
Tong_Bokes Says:

Have you ever read Green Eggs and Ham? Dr. Suess probably hot boxed for a day and a half before walking out of the room, new book in hand

 
 
Wed, 11/23/2011 - 5:33am

I'm pretty sure with the kind of stuff Dr. Seuss wrote, he was smokin' hella dank

 
 
Sat, 10/02/2010 - 5:38pm

i agree, completely best thing ever thought of. make it a book now. i want to read it to my children if i have them

 
 
Mon, 10/11/2010 - 4:14pm
popeye Says:

It took you 3 minutes to read it? Sheeet son, maybe you need to layoff the green buds and hash.

 
 
Fri, 11/26/2010 - 7:07am

maybe you should mind ur fuckin business

"im high as a bitch up up and away man i come down in a couple of days" -weezy

 
 
Fri, 03/04/2011 - 7:59pm
xNobody Says:
 
 
Mon, 11/02/2009 - 7:29pm
 
 
Mon, 11/02/2009 - 7:35pm
Hilltop Says:
 
 
Tue, 12/08/2009 - 4:43am
mr.blunt Says:
 
 
Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:46pm
white__ Says:
 
 
Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:46pm
white__ Says:
 
 
Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:47pm
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Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:47pm
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Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:48pm
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Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:48pm
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Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:48pm
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Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:49pm
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Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:49pm
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Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:50pm
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Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:50pm
white__ Says:
 
 
Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:50pm
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Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:51pm
white__ Says:
 
 
Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:51pm
white__ Says:
 
 
Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:51pm
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Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:52pm
white__ Says:
 
 
Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:52pm
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Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:53pm
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Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:53pm
white__ Says:
 
 
Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:54pm
white__ Says:
 
 
Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:54pm
white__ Says:

brb..gotta take a hit cuz this is gettin lame

 
 
Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:55pm
white__ Says:

hahaha..i think im pushing peoples comments of the 1st page

 
 
Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:56pm
white__ Says:
 
 
Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:56pm
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Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:58pm
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Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:58pm
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Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:59pm
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Wed, 05/05/2010 - 7:59pm
white__ Says:
 
 
Wed, 05/05/2010 - 8:00pm
white__ Says:
 
 
Wed, 05/05/2010 - 8:00pm
white__ Says:

im unlocking hidden secrets of highdeas