My girlfriend told me i smoke too much and asked me to smoke less. The best part is that Im high around her all the time and she doesn't know it. I guess this doesn't make sense. If she can't tell I'm high why is it such a big deal? Why am i dating a conservative girl?
This brings up a lot of why's?

So time is supposed to be relative, meaning we all experience it differently ex. when you have no weed and can't find anyone who is holding time feels like it takes forever. But what I'm thinking, is that a lot of our "time" is experienced when we are awake, and when we sleep we fast forward until we're awake next. So if that were the case, if I was tripping balls and stayed awake for three days but all my friends had slept a standard 8 hours for said three days, would they be living 24 hours ahead of me at the end of my 72 hour trip? My grandpa sleeps a lot man he could already be dead!

when you think about it...your nose runs. and your feet smell.

Getting your haircut when your high is amazing. First you get your hair washed with an orgasmic massage. Then she cuts your hair which feels awesome and always gives
me the chills then finally she blow dries your hair. My scalp is still tingling and I've never had
my hair fluffier than this in my entire life!!

Thank you Gould's!!

dont you love it when you wake up smoke a blunt and cook bacon, eggs, biscuits i mean you know its going to be a good fucking day

A while ago i smoked some Grade "A" Grandaddy Purp out of a 2ft bong. I smoked an eighth between me and 3 other guys. Shortly after i leaned back, closed my eyes, and immediately broke out into a cold sweat, i felt like i could feel every cell in my body and they were all humming, this was followed by crazy closed eye visuals. I couldnt even stand for half an hour then when finally got up i had to get someone to drive my car. My driver made a beeline for cicis pizza buffet where we brought a glorious end to a glorious high haha. Hands down most stoned ive ever been.... read more »

nothings like blazin and you pour your bowl of cereal all excited and ready to munch, only to find out YOU HAVE NO FUCKING MILK. FUCK

okay.
Buy an ounce (or 2)
put em in your fireplace
close the vent--

hot box the house.

MIND BLOWN.

You got so baked that you fell out of
the chair you were sitting in...

That was some good stuff...

Have you ever noticed, That girls that bake, always give good head.. I have always wondered why..

So let's be honest, Marijuana is going to be legal any day now. I think once this happens all dealers should ban together and or unionize and submit their names and numbers into a database so all you'd have to do is go to the weed locating website and BAM 11 results for drug dealers in your area! This is a serious thing that need to be brought to our community.

when you're baked and up late at night watching TV, and those commercials for Feed The Children come up?
And they're all like,

"We have 3 tons of food ready to be shipped to these people, all we need is your small donation."

Why don't they just give them the fucking food?

As a girl stoner, if I'm not A. ravenously hungry/stuffing my face or B. growing roots into my couch, watching Planet Earth (try it some time, it's awesome,) I'm generally horny as hell when I'm blazed.

Plus, sex is so slamming when you're high! Please tell me I'm not the only one.

we've gone to the moon. we have iphone apps that make it so we can contact a satellite dish and get a picture of ourselves at that very moment. we have have all these advances in technology, and we can't manage to make an apple taste like macaroni and cheese? when you eat an apple, like 3 taste buds are like, hooray! but if you eat macaroni and cheese, every taste bud in your mouth starts is orgying all over the place. apples are healthy and make me skinny. i want an apple to taste like macaroni and cheese, is that so much to ask?

we are outside smoking thinking fuck what if the leaves that fall in the fall were all weed? then so many peoplecould just get weed whenever in the fall and everyone would be high