infomercials are like hookers.... you want to get it so badly but there is something in the back of your head saying its a peice of worn out cheap shit.

Phone numbers.

I keep some peoples phone numbers in my phone just so i know not to answer when they call.

I feel so dumb

You know how when your high you always stand up and something falls off of your lap.. I just did that with my laptop

gods creatures

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus. Robin Williams

did you ever…

go to google to look something up, and then forget you are all ready on google, and google google" by accident"